Coming out
by isyourcermetgoingtogrow
Summary: When Kate and Siobhan get together as a couple, Garrett and Carlisle start to question their 'friendship'...M for language maybe but its pretty clean. GarrettXCarlisle, SiobhanXKate All Human
1. Chapter 1

**So someone had waaay too much fun writing this. Hopefully you will have as much fun reading it (if anyone actually reads it)**

 **Garrett POV**

The cold air bit into my skin no matter how tightly I pulled my jacket around my body, and I found myself unconsciously drifting closer to Carlisle as we walked. Which wasn't a good thing. The setting was way too romantic for that. Snow fell in down in a light shower and the night seemed deeper than usual; much darker than normal, but the street lamps created a soft orange light and long shadows which fell across the street. Every time we passed under one, the melted snowflakes on Carlisle's jacket lit up, sparkling like they had a life of their own. But I wasn't looking at that; I was far too focused on his face.  
He watched the ground as we made our way home, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. We were both soaked to the skin and shivering. He glanced up at me, our eyes meeting, and I felt my face become warm. "They're cute together," he murmured, breaking the silence which had settled over us.  
I grinned, breathing out a sigh of relief. "They are." We'd just had dinner with Kate and Siobhan, who had announced that they were officially a couple. I hadn't had the courage yet to come out to Carlisle, who was my best friend, and I was absolutely terrified that he might be upset or reject them or something.  
"It took them long enough," he chuckled, blowing into his fingers to try and warm them up. "I've been hoping they would for ages."  
"Really?" I asked hopefully, my heart fluttering in my chest.  
He shot me a curious look, trying to hide a smile. "I guess so. I ship them. Maybe you could even go as far as saying they're my OPT."  
 _You and me are my OPT_ , I restrained from saying, trying to hide my face from him immediately after thinking it as my cheeks became red. Instead I pushed him lightly, making him slid a little on the frozen footpath. "Oh my god. Are you a teenaged girl?" I teased, forcing a laugh.  
He giggled, scrambling to gain his footing again. "Maybe." As he started to fall, I wrapped my arm around his waist to stop him from hitting the ground. He was freezing. "You're really cold, Garrett," he told me. Concern flashed across his face.  
"Says you," I murmured, trying not to focus on how unbelievably close his lips were to mine. My voice shook and I winced at the sound.  
Carlisle hugged me suddenly, obviously thinking my falter was due to my temperature. "Maybe we should get some coffee or something?" he mumbled against my shoulder, his arms around my waist.  
I laughed. "Who is going to serve us coffee at 1 am, Carlisle?" In reality I was giddy with joy that he was touching me on _purpose_.  
"Starbucks?" he suggested.  
I nodded enthusiastically, cringing as the gentle snow turned to a less appealing, heavy sleet. Grabbing his hand, I ran in the direction of the outlet, continuously slipping and sliding on the pavement. By the time we burst in the door we both looked like drowned rats and were panting. Well, I was panting. Carlisle was laughing at me. "Jerk," I teased, elbowing him playfully.  
"You need to get out more," he teased back, going to the counter and ordering two cups of coffee before I could argue with him about who was paying.  
"Thank you," I mumbled instead, clenching my jaw so my teeth didn't chatter.  
He folded his arms tightly, trying to keep at least a little warmth in his body. It seemed like an eternity before our cups were handed to us, but once they were in reach I was forcing scolding liquid down my throat faster than I could swallow. While I was being a pig, Carlisle took tentative sips of his, trying not to burn himself in the process.  
"You're such a girl," I mocked as we walked out. "Suck it up."  
"Shut up," he dead-panned, smiling at me, water running down his face.  
I almost choked; good god, he was beautiful.

By the time we got back to our flat, I was in physical pain. My entire body ached, my limbs felt like lead and I had a pounding head ache. I couldn't think straight and just stared at Carlisle blankly as he handed me a towel.  
"Shower, Garrett," he instructed, turning me around in the direction of the bathroom. "I'm not doing that for you."  
Despite the fact I was freezing, my face was suddenly very, very hot. "Don't you need to…" I started, knowing he was as cold as I was.  
"You go first." He nudged me forward again and this time I forced my legs to move.

The hot water didn't help much; I still couldn't stop shivering, even after I'd showered. Carlisle was in the same state; standing in the doorway watching me as I sheltered in a blanket on the couch.  
"Carlisle…" I started, unsure how to ask him.  
He hesitated, before going and turning the TV on, picking up the Xbox remotes and coming and sitting next to me, handing me one.  
I wrapped the blanket around him as well, moving closer so we were touching.  
"Why don't we own a heater?" he whined quietly, leaning against me a little.  
An overwhelming urge to cuddle him washed over me. "Because we're poor ass Uni students?" I suggested.  
"Yet we have an Xbox," he paused. "At least we have our priorities right, I guess." We glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

After several hours of Halo ( **A/N: ishipthem1, the only game I know a little about;))** , I feel asleep, still sitting with Carlisle. When I woke up again, I'd somehow wound my arms around him, effectively cuddling up to him as we lay on the couch together. _This is new_ , I thought to myself. We defiantly didn't do things like this normally. Embarrassed, I sat up, not wanting him to be upset with me, but badly wanting to stay there.  
I felt disgusting; simultaneously too hot and too cold, my head still thumped and my body groaned every time I tried to move. I wasn't sure that I _could_ actually move that far anyway.  
"Garrett…" Carlisle mumbled sleepily. When he spoke it sounded like his throat hurt.  
"Hmm?" I didn't trust my own voice to come out properly either.  
"Cant we just stay here?" he asked hopefully, referring to the lectures we had later in the day.  
I nodded in relief, closing my eyes again and leaning back against the seat. I felt him shift and then he was hugging me again, his head coming to rest on my shoulder. "You're sick," I accused, feeling his temperature.  
"So are you," he mumbled back, squeezing me a little.  
"I don't feel so good," I admitted childishly, partly ashamed.  
He just nodded, one hand tracing circles in my back, almost enough to out me to sleep again.  
It felt so good to be close to him; not only was I in possession of a human hot water bottle, but it was _Carlisle_. The boy who had driven me crazy for months. I had almost been successful in smothering my crush on him, but now my heart beat erratically as he touched me. When his hand came to rest on my thigh, my pulse shot through the roof. Although it was killing me, he didn't seem to think anything of the contact.

The shrill sound of a phone ringing woke me up again. It was dark outside, meaning I'd slept all day.  
"Carlisle." I nudged him awake again, trying to fight off the ringing in my ears.  
"Hmm?" He was barely conscious, not even aware of the obnoxious noise.  
"Answer it," I whined. "Or turn it off…" As much as I liked the thought of putting my hand in his pocket, I wasn't sure he would be so accepting of it.  
"Jesus," he mumbled, trying to pull it out of his jeans. "Hello?"  
I couldn't focus on the conversation anyway, even if I could only hear one side.  
After a minute he groaned.  
"What?" I pressed, shifting closer and wrapping my arms around him again.  
"Siobhan's coming." He didn't look happy.  
"Why?" I laughed. "I though you loved her." It was common knowledge that Carlisle liked Siobhan, and a sort of conspiracy that me and Kate had that they had been in a relationship.  
"Because Kate's an asshole." He ignored the last half of my comment.  
"Ugh. She thinks we cant look after ourselves? How did she even know we got sick?" I grumbled.  
"She believes we are incapable – which is maybe kind of true…we did do this to ourselves. And she guessed after we walked back, goddammit." He tossed his phone across the floor.  
"Don't break that," I teased. "It'll be months before you can get another one."  
"I don't need it. You're already here anyway. I don't need to talk to anyone else." He smiled at me shyly.  
Why, _why_ did he have to make those comments so casually? Did he have no idea how much it messed with me? God, I felt like I was having a heart attack. I forced myself to laugh, but my returning smile was genuine. "You're so cute." I froze; I had under no circumstance ever meant that to come out of my mouth. It was a desperate effort not to let myself turn red; I had said it, and therefore I had to roll with it. _Dear god, Garrett. What have you done_?  
He just laughed. "And? You're adorable."  
Okay, crisis averted. Nothing was weird. I had just admitted to my best friend and long-term crush that I thought he was cute, while snuggled up to him on the couch, and he had returned the favour. Returned it in a joking way, right? He didn't actually think I was adorable.  
I cleared my throat, trying to clear my head along with it. "So, um, were you and Siobhan ever, ah, you know…together?"  
He froze, pulling at the seams of his clothing. "You mean…dating?" he asked cautiously, a hint of nervousness in his tone.  
"I guess." My eyes were trained on his face, trying to gage his reaction.  
"No." He blushed and looked away.  
"Liar," I announced arrogantly, pushing him. Because of the angle we were on I only ended up falling on him more. Not that I was complaining.  
"Okay, fine. We weren't really 'together'…but we…we um, we tried to…" he trailed off, not wanting to tell me.  
"You slept with her?" I jumped to my feet, standing mockingly in front of him, hands on hips. My head swam but I tried to ignore it.  
"No- I mean, I tried, but it didn't work- shut up. Don't look at me like that." He covered his face with his hands, trying to avoid talking about it. "Aren't you supposed to be sick?"  
"Yes, but this is more important," I grinned. "So, how does it feel to have slept with a lesbian?"  
"Garrett! Oh my god!" he was laughing now, trying not to cough in the process.  
"Seriously, though. Isn't that like every guy's dream?" I was giggling too, unable to help myself.  
"You're a jerk. Shut up and sit down." He grabbed my hand and jerked me back down beside him.  
I immediately lent on him again. Even though we were both as equally feverish, I still wanted to suck the heat out of him. There was a knock on the door as soon as I sat down.  
"You better both have pants on," Siobhan warned, unlocking the door.  
"How does she have a key?" Carlisle whispered.  
"She must have got it from Kate."  
"And why did _Kate_ have a key?" he smirked at me.  
I blushed, guilty of exactly what he suspected. "For emergencies?" I tried.  
"Sure," he agreed sarcastically. "If you call sleeping alone an emergency."  
"Technically we weren't sleeping. So I still slept alone. She went home because we knew you'd do exactly _this_ when you found out," I quipped.  
"You liked her?" he teased.  
"No. It was only for sex. Think of it as two friends with a common interest."  
"Is that what we are?"  
I swallowed thickly, my mouth suddenly dry. "Um…" Thankfully I didn't have to provide an answer; Siobhan stood in front of us, interrupting the conversation.  
"I hear we did not take very good care of ourselves last night?" she questions, smirking at Carlisle who looked like he wished he could dissolve.  
"We're fine, thank you very much," he told her, coughing immediately after speaking.  
She laughed softly and shook her head. "Go on, go to bed. Cuddling on the couch is not the same as bed rest." She pointed down the hallway.  
"Why are you even here?" he whined softly, in protest to moving, I think.  
"Don't worry, I'll leave you alone soon. I have other plans. Plans with Kate, which you are interrupting, I might add."  
We both groaned and Carlisle slid further down the seat, looking up at her.  
"I promise. Go to bed, I'll make you both some soup, and then I'll leave you alone with your boyfriend, happy?" she teased him.  
His face flushed. "H-hey, that's not fair…He's not my-"  
"Bed, Carlisle. I could say worse," she threatened in a sing-song voice, slowly pulling me to my feet, but leaving Carlisle to move on his own.  
"What's wrong with sitting here again?" he mumbled tiredly.  
"The fact that when you are both sleep deprived and are a puddle of tears on the floor, I have to mop it up," she chuckled.  
He moved that time, doing as he was told. "Garrett sleeps with no pants on by the way. You've been warned."  
 _How the hell did how know that?!_ "Asshole," I grumbled, struggling not to laugh.  
"Of course _you_ would know that, Carlisle Cullen," she snickered.  
He didn't respond, already in his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Garrett POV**

Although I was feeling considerably better the next morning, I'd be damned it I was going to Uni without Carlisle. Even though we weren't in the same classes, I couldn't stand to be there without him. He made it tolerable. And today he hadn't moved, meaning I wasn't going either.  
"Carlisle, you okay?" I called, banging on this door. When he didn't answer me I threw it open, jumping onto him while he hid his face under his blanket. "Tell me, are _you_ wearing pants to bed?" I teased.  
"Wouldn't you like to know," he mumbled sleepily.  
"I'm going to take that as a yes." I ripped his blankets off him, throwing open his curtains and letting the sunlight stream in.  
"Garrett," he complained softly, curling up more tightly.  
"Who the hell where's jeans to bed?" I demanded, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat; seeing Carlisle vulnerable and in bed wasn't something I was prepared for this early in the morning. But still, I wished I could be closer to him. Like last night. God, if cuddling him wasn't my new favourite activity.  
His replying mumble was too distorted for me to understand as he lent his face against his arm, obviously not impressed with me. It was almost funny; usually it was the other way around, me not wanting to get out of bed and him making me.  
"Get up." I poked him in the side, making him squirm away from my touch.  
"Garrett…" he whined. "Go and have breakfast or something…" By now he was shivering a little.  
"You're conning me into making you food?" I made sure he knew I was teasing, but tried to hide the fact that there really wasn't anything I'd rather do. Except maybe undress him. I fought to keep my cheeks from going red.  
"Can you turn off the light please…" He sounded pleading, desperate enough to make me follow instructions with arguing. While he wrapped himself in his blankets again, I pulled the curtain closed.  
"What's wrong?" I sat on the edge of the bed, closer to him than strictly appropriate, but I definitely wasn't thinking with my head right now.  
"We walked home in the snow…"  
"I suppose we did, but I feel fine. You're just soft." As I hugged him I partly lay on him.  
"You're just an asshole." Despite his words he moved underneath me so we were face to face. It was agony not being able to kiss him, no matter how badly I wanted to. I loved him too much for that.  
"Do I need to call Siobhan back again?" I held his face in my hands, my forehead resting against his. My breaths started to catch in my throat as I struggle to keep myself under control.  
He looked up at me through long eyelashes, a small smile on his lips. "I don't need her. I have you." Immediately he blushed and glanced away, but I couldn't fight off a smile.  
"Of course you do. Who needs girls, right?" _Oh shit._ I should _not_ have said that.  
Thankfully, he just looked uncomfortable without actually acknowledging the comment. "Right…" he answered unsurely.  
I let out a shaky breath of relief.

 **Carlisle POV**

"Tell me, are _you_ wearing pants to bed?" Garrett questioned, grinning at me.  
I swallowed nervously, unable to think straight with him this close to me. "Wouldn't you like to know," I managed, acutely aware of every place he was touching me. I didn't dare to move.  
"I'm going to take that as a yes." Suddenly he ripped the blankets off me, throwing them onto the floor as he stalked over to open the curtains as well. At the same time I was overly grateful that I had made a habit of sleeping in clothes, even if they were the same clothes from the night before.  
"Garrett," I whined, trying to conceal my anxiety. To make things worse, every time I got nervous I threw up, and I prayed that wouldn't happen now. The air seemed exceptionally cold this morning, and before I knew it I was shivering, trying to hug myself warm again, all the while wishing that it was him I had my arms around instead.  
"Who wears jeans to bed?" he teased, starting to laugh.  
"I do," I replied timidly, suddenly self-conscious about how disgusting the habit was. Leaning my face against my arm, I tried to hide that I couldn't stop myself from blushing.  
"Get up." As soon as he touched me I jerked back, the abrupt contact shocking.  
"Garrett…Go and have breakfast." I hoped he would; he was driving me crazy. I either had to make him leave or find a way to get him in bed with me. There was no way I could stand him being around me if I wasn't allowed to touch him…But I couldn't just ask him to hug me, right? That was weird.  
"You're conning me into making you food?" he chuckled.  
I swallowed a guilty apology. "…Can you turn the light off please?" I asked instead. The light did sting and make my head swim, but mostly it was so it wouldn't be blatantly obvious that I couldn't stop staring at him. Quickly picking up the blankets, I cocooned myself in them; at least now I couldn't touch him. Thankfully, he did as I asked.  
And then he was next to me, only _inches_ away from where I lay. Yet that small space felt like a motherfucking crater. That boy had no idea how much I loved him. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, his hand coming to be on my shoulder, his chin resting on his fingers.  
 _I love you_. "We walked home in the snow," I said instead.  
He hugged me, on top of me without any warning. "I suppose we did, but I feel fine. You're just soft."  
One kiss wouldn't hurt anything, would it? Just one touch; maybe he wouldn't even know what had happened. "…You're just an asshole."  
"Do I need to call Siobhan back?" Holy shit. I couldn't breathe. Not with his lips this close to mine. All it would take was one of us to move wrong – or maybe move _right_ depending on who you asked.  
And of course I couldn't stop something horrifically sappy coming out of my mouth. "I don't need her. I have you."  
"Of course you do. Who needs girls, right?" he breathed.  
I was sure my heart stopped. He knew. He fucking knew about me. "Right…" I whispered, desperately trying to keep my voice from shaking and fighting the urge to cry. He couldn't know, he just couldn't. I was going to be sick; Garrett might accept Siobhan and Kate, but certainly not me loving him. I couldn't tell him, or more, couldn't admit to it if – no, when he asked me. Not until I got my stupid crush on him under control.

When I first moved in with Garrett three years ago, I couldn't even look him in the eye. This total stranger, a person I'd never even met, I'd somehow fallen in love with instantly. Before we shook hands even. More so when he refused the handshake and exchanged it for a hug like we'd known each other for years. It was painful, almost, watching him continuously flirt with girls, trying to involve me in conversation over who was 'hotter'. Being a shy eighteen year old who'd never had a friend before, it made me nauseous.  
Now, at twenty one, I loved him more than ever, although I tried to convince myself otherwise. To worsen things, he had plenty other people he could hang out with, yet he spent almost every weekend with me, and when he did go out, he dragged me alone too, introducing me to all of his friends who instantly disliked me. If we had lectures at our university at the same time he always sat with me a lunch, despite having a horde of other 'cool' people that would happily talk to him. Even though he was two years older than me, we started study at the same time, him studying physics while I studied medicine. Although the degree was hell, I dreaded it being over, knowing he would leave. Even the thought of it made my throat tight.

 **Siobhan POV**

As soon as I came into the room and saw Kate grinning at me from the bed, I knew something was up. And I was ninety per cent sure that I wasn't about to get laid; there were far too many clothes for that. "What?" I asked, half curious, half annoyed.  
"Tell me what happened between you and Carlisle?" she asked sweetly, her eyes amused.  
I sighed. "Nothing, that's what."  
"Sure," she agreed sarcastically.  
I looked her up and down. "Fine. On one condition."  
Kate raised an eyebrow, never breaking eye contact with me as she took off her shirt and threw it across the room. "Happy?"  
"That wasn't what I was going to ask," I laughed, leaning down to kiss her. "But yes, I'm incredibly happy."  
"So?" She pulled back, wearing an arrogant smirk. "Did you fuck him or did you not?"  
"No, I didn't."  
Apparently I couldn't keep the note of annoyance out of my tone because she asked; "But you wanted to?"  
"Of course I did! He's cute- hey, shut up. Don't you laugh at me," I scolded lightly, seizing her hands as I pushed her back onto the bed.  
"So he's gay then?" she asked with sudden seriousness.  
"What- no. Where on earth did you get that idea?" I lied, trying not to smile. Truth be told, although he let me kiss him, as soon as I touched his belt he broke down and told me everything. Including his fatal crush on his flatmate. He'd then sworn me to secrecy, absolutely humiliated.  
"It's a shame, really," she continued thoughtfully. "I think Garrett might love him."  
Somehow, I managed to breath wrong and choke on my own spit. "Really? I though you and him were together for a while."  
She snorted and rolled her eyes. "I screwed him for a while, if that's what you mean. But he bats for both teams."  
A smile was too hard to resist, and instantly my mind was racing as I tried to think of ways to get them together. "Do you think it might turn into something?"  
"Maybe, but only for a short time. Garrett will only get bored." She didn't seem to think anything of the statement but to me it stung.  
"What do you mean? Surely if he likes him then…"  
Kate shrugged. "He always has and always will. His relationships rely too much on sex; no sex, no deal. Carlisle's not like that. At all. And apparently straight," she winked at me.  
I refused to give in and tell her. "Of course."  
"Were they okay when you went and checked on them?"  
"Yes. They weren't feeling very well, but they were fine." It was hard to resist telling her that they were cuddling when I came in, and how reluctant they were to stop it. By god, I prayed Garrett wouldn't hurt him.

 **Garrett POV**

"Kate and Siobhan are coming for drinks later. You're going to have to put pants on," Carlisle teased, coming to lean on my doorframe.  
"I will do no such thing." Ever since he brought it up a few weeks ago, it had become a running joke, whether I was dressed or not. Like now, as I sat trying to finish some stupid fucking paper which was doing my fucking head in, fully clothed, he still couldn't resist.  
He dawdled across my room to flop onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.  
"Carlisle, I'm trying to concentrate. You're not helping," I growled, frustrated. My pen ricocheted off the wall as I threw it, skittering across the floor to stop at his feet.  
"Sorry," he mumbled, slowly getting to his feet and wading through the shit on my floor to get back to the door.  
My throat suddenly became tight. "I didn't mean to yell at you, I just- I just- I cant fucking do it! I'm going to fucking fail because I'm fucking retarded! I-" Unable to stop it, I burst into tears, burying my face in my hands. "M-my parents are going to kill me…" I mumbled to myself. I jumped as he pressed then pen into my hand again, thinking he had run at my outburst.  
His arms slid around my shoulders, his cheek resting on the top of my head. "Everything will be fine, okay?"  
I leant against him but shook my head. "M-mum will be so disappointed…I'm already the screw up of the family…"  
"So what? It's one paper, Garrett. You can just re-sit it. I guarantee you that your mother will still bake you cookies and do your washing when you go and stay with her. She's not going to disown you for the sake of _one paper_." He squeezed me a little tighter and I hugged his waist, letting myself be comforted.  
"Maybe I can find an emergency tutor or something," I mumbled. "It might not be too late."  
Letting go of me, he lent over my desk, examining what I'd written. "Here." What came out of his mouth next was pure genius, exactly the theory I needed to finish.  
"Where'd you learn that stuff?" I asked softly, unable to resist putting my arms around him again and pulling him back, meaning he was sitting on the edge of my seat.  
He sucked in and held a sharp breath and I wondered if I'd crossed some kind of line. Instead of protesting though, he just looked embarrassed and glanced down. "Sometimes…when I can't sleep I watch online lectures and sit the odd paper. You know, just for fun." His words tumbled out, almost like he didn't want them to. "Like correspondence."  
"For fun, huh?" I teased, sliding him closer and resting my chin on his shoulder from behind. "When I can't sleep I go on Tumblr. Or watch porn, it depends."  
"Oh my god," he giggled. "Don't say things like that while we're sitting like this. It's weird on so many levels."  
"Don't tell me you don't have a list of dirty websites that you go on when I'm not supervising," I teased.  
"Sure I do, but that's not the point."  
"What do you watch, anyway?"  
"No." He shook his head, desperately trying to close the topic. But that only encouraged my curiosity.  
"I'm rather fond of two girls going at it, you know?" That was the thing furthest away from what I actually watched, but it was worth it for his reaction.  
"Garrett…" he whined, bright red now. "That's too much information; I don't want to know."  
"I'm sorry," I chuckled, noting that he still didn't move away. After being this close to him, I wouldn't need any porn tonight. I tried not to think about it anymore, otherwise this position was about to become both embarrassing and uncomfortable for both of us.

A while later there was an intrusive knock on the door. I glanced at the clock; six hours had passed. Me and Carlisle were still sitting as we had been, except while he tried to teach me, the only thing I was studying was him. Him helping me like this certainly wasn't doing anything to help my crush on him, and neither was the way he would shift periodically, giving me that chance to move closer until there was literally no space between us and I was unconsciously aware of every breath he took, which toward the end turned irregular and shallow and I sensed his concentration breaking as he started to squirm.  
He sighed and stood quickly; freezing the moment he did so.  
"You okay?" I asked, getting up and straightening my clothes.  
He nodded and took a tentative step forward, inching toward the door.  
"Can you let them in? I'll go and make some coffee." I slid past him in the doorway where he'd stopped again and made my way down to the kitchen, flicking the switch on the jug. They were over here enough for me not to have to ask how they wanted their drinks, so I didn't even bother waiting for them to join me in the kitchen before setting out the cups.  
"Aren't you a good little maid, Garrett," Siobhan teased as they came in, immediately sitting at the table. "You would be the perfect boyfriend for him, if you weren't straight." She caught my eye and winked, gesturing to Carlisle who was completely zoned out.  
I glared at Kate for telling her. "Of course I would. I'm god damn beautiful." I bowed to her and stuck her cup on the table, Kate's next to hers.  
"Are you going to sit, Carlisle, or stand there the whole night?" She glanced back at him.  
I tried not to get caught staring, but he seemed anxious for some reason; continuously fidgeting and shifting, absolutely unable to keep still, which was unusual for him. When I handed him his drink he looked like he might cry and I fought back an urgent need to hug him. Instead, I wrapped my arm around his waist in a somewhat more platonic manner, squeezing him against my side for a few seconds before sitting.  
Nobody else seemed to notice his strange behaviour.  
"That's as far as my hosting skills go. What are we going to do, exactly?" I asked, hoping Carlisle might step in.  
I don't think he even heard me; he focused blankly on the wall, his face flushing slightly as he swallowed a mouthful of coffee.  
Siobhan dumped a bag on the table. "Strip-tease poker. You're betting your clothes, boys."


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I've written about five other chapters to this story and I'm really tempted just to dump them all on here now, but then I can't guarantee regular updates but if I'm honest I'm obsessed with writing this now so I don't really think that would be a problem…chapter dump, or no?**

 **Carlisle POV**

I was dying but I didn't dare to say anything. He'd make me go if I did, and that was the last thing I wanted. Actually, no; the last thing I wanted was to pee my pants sitting here, which looked inevitable at the moment. I couldn't keep still anymore, and could barely focus on the stupid paper of Garrett's. I could hardly breathe because of the pressure.  
By the time they knocked on the door, it felt like a monumentally long time had passed, and I shot to my feet. _Bad idea._ Never move that quickly on a full bladder. Lesson learned. I wasn't sure I could move at all, now. But I had to, didn't I; Garrett would never speak to me again if I pissed myself literally centimetres away from him.  
"You okay?" he asked as he stood.  
I nodded, not trusting my voice and forced myself to take a step. In the back of my mind I doubted I could actually make it to the bathroom but if I didn't move, things would only get worse.  
"Can you let them in? I'll go and make some coffee."  
I smothered a protest and quickly shifted my weight, unable to bite back a whimper. He didn't seem to notice and pushed past me into the hallway, accidently knocking my bladder as he did so. I could have cried; I wanted to. Instead I crossed my legs and hoped the horrible sensation of being on the brink of wetting myself would pass. Eventually, I stumbled toward the front door, not having time to go to the bathroom as one of them impatiently knocked again. _Why didn't I just tell him?_  
I wasn't listening to their chatter, but suddenly a certain sentence pulled my back to reality. "You would be the perfect boyfriend for him if you weren't straight," Siobhan teased Garrett, nudging me. **  
** _Dear god._ I couldn't breathe and suddenly running to the bathroom in front of everyone didn't seem like such a bad idea. I couldn't stop my face turning red.  
"Of course I would. I'm god damn beautiful," he grinned.  
I squirmed, now in danger of projectile vomiting as well as my pulse skyrocketed. She fucking knew what she was doing. "Siobhan…" I whined so only she would hear. "Don't."  
"Oh, calm down. I'm not going to say anything," she whispered back. **  
**I bit my lip, trying to create a different sensation of pain to think about as I walked aimlessly just for an excuse to squirm. My stomach really hurt but no matter how hard I wished, I couldn't make myself tell them, or more, tell Garrett. Or just walk away. I could just walk away, right? Why did I have to over think things so fucking much.  
"Are you going to sit, Carlisle? Or are you going to stand there the whole night?" Siobhan continued.  
Garrett smiled at me, handing me a cup and wrapping his arm around me. His touch wasn't welcome for once; he squeezed me way too tightly. The liquid made me nervous; even outside of my body the it was too close to my bladder.  
"Garrett," I whimpered, but he didn't hear me. It was an effort to hold back tears; this couldn't be happening. Not now. Not ever. Why the fuck couldn't I say something. Why couldn't I just fucking leave.  
"That's as far as my hosting skills go. What are we going to do, exactly?" He continued.  
Because he was watching me, I forced a mouthful of coffee down, pressing my legs together tightly before crossing them under the table. I felt my face heat up, hoping against hope they wouldn't notice.  
"Strip-tease poker. You're betting your clothes, boys." She smiled widely.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I stood abruptly and ran down the hallway, slamming the door so hard it didn't catch. I barely had time to lean over before my stomach rolled and everything I'd eaten that day came rushing up my throat. I could _not_ play that fucking game. Not that I didn't want to see Garrett without a shirt…or without pants…but I couldn't take my clothes off in front of him. Siobhan was doing this on purpose. _She was going to tell him_. Fuck. No. No. No. No. Fuck. NO. The tears I was holding back over flowed and ran down my face and I was sick again. She _couldn't_ tell him. No. Fuck. My stomach hurt from the amount of anxiety coursing through my body.  
"Jesus, are you okay?" Garrett asked, starting to push open the door.  
"No!" I yelped, I closing it in his face and sliding the lock across.  
"Carlisle, please. What's wrong?" he pleaded, turning the door handle. I'd never told him that I had social anxiety or had panic attacks, and wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. I could just pretend for a little longer.  
"Just go away and let me be disgusting by myself," I mumbled, wiping my face dry.  
"Are you alright? I can send them home and you can go to bed or-"  
"I'm fine, Garrett. I'll be back in a minute." I swallowed hard to keep the remainder of my stomach contents down, forcing myself to regulate my breathing.  
He mumbled something that wasn't compliance but went away anyway.  
At least I could go to the toilet now, right? After washing my hands and splashing cold water over my face, I stumbled back down the hallway to the kitchen.  
"Are you okay?" he asked softly again, reaching over and taking my hand, pulling me down to sit in the chair beside him.  
I nodded, trying to push back my panic and fighting the urgent need to cry. In the three years I'd lived with him, I hadn't cried in front of him. And it sure as hell wasn't about to happen in front of the other two. I couldn't handle a public rejection.  
Siobhan laid out the cards and within minutes we were all half naked. I couldn't look at any of them and just studied my lap, crossing my arms as some form of cover. There was no way I could bring myself to even glance at Garrett.

 **Garrett POV**

Carlisle was gorgeous. Like completely fucking beautiful. The minute he took his shirt off my mouth went dry and I immediately lost all the concentration I had placed on the game. Shit, I could barely take my eyes off him. Thankfully, he never once looked up at me.  
Somehow, only a quarter of an hour later, I was the only one in my underwear. Siobhan had won her shirt back and was fully clothed, and Kate and Carlisle were shirtless. But there was only a thin piece of material between me and the world, much to their amusement, apparently.  
"Cold yet, Garrett?" Kate teased, raising her eyebrows at me and looking me up and down.  
"I could be cooler." I arrogantly tilted my chin. "See anything you like?"  
"You're betting them then?"  
For a moment I seriously considered it, seeming as it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before. But as I glanced at Carlisle, my confidence evaporated. "Fine. I'm out," I sighed, standing and going down the hallway to find some pants. 

"I'm done," Siobhan laughed, throwing a jacket over Kate as she began to take off her bra.  
"You don't want to see my boobs?" she asked, running her tongue over his teeth and smirking at her.  
"Seen them," I said bluntly, standing behind Carlisle who'd quickly pulled his clothes on in a hurry.  
"You're just jealous you don't have any of your own," he snickered, looking up at me.  
"Shut up," I laughed, pushing him. When he stumbled, I wrapped my arms around him to keep him stable. "Jesus, you're clumsy."  
"I need a drink. Do you want something?" As he leant over to grab the bottles out of the fridge, I found myself staring at him yet again. This time, more specifically at how tight his jeans were when he lent over. _Dear god, Garrett._  
His hand brushed mine as he handed me my drink, and for a moment all I could think about was how elegant his fingers were…and how much I wanted him to touch me. I shook the thought from my head. Jesus Christ, what was I thinking?

Four bottles later, the two girls were all over each other. As much as it would have usually turned me on, I knew them too well, and besides; why would I be looking at them when Carlisle was right next to me? He snatched the bottle out of my hands as I brought it to my lips again, standing in front of me wearing a teasing smile.  
"You have to win before you're allowed another drink."  
"What?" I asked confused.  
In response he turned on the TV, tossing me a controller. "Co-op. Whoever wins the tournament gets to drink. One death, one mouthful." He posed the sentence as a question, but I was already grinning at him.  
"You're on."  
The next few hours was spent on that, each of us slowly getting more and more drunk. Kate and Siobhan eventually cuddled up together on the couch and fell asleep, and I could barely keep my eyes open either.  
"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Carlisle asked, slurring a little as the booze took its toll.  
"Pretty sure we don't own any real food at the moment, unless you want cereal," I laughed.  
"We could go for a walk? Surely someone will feed us. I mean, we smell of alcohol and kind of look homeless right now." He got to his feet, not as unstable as I expected him to be.  
I doubted anything would be open, but a night time walk did sound fun. "Okay. Pull me up." I grabbed his hand, using his weight against my own to stand.

And so here we were. Semi-drunk and sitting on a swing in the middle of a deserted park at half past two in the morning. It turns out I was wrong; apparently McDonalds never closes, so now we were both full of greasy takeaways. And I had never felt better.  
"Is this what birds feel like? Why don't we swing anymore?" Carlisle asked from beside me, glancing over as he spoke.  
"Because you're not a child," I teased, rolling my eyes.  
"I don't want to be adult anyway. It sucks." He scuffed his feet in the dirt, coming to be still.  
"It's not that bad. You're just overdramatic," I giggled, pushing him sideways.  
"I'd rather be five."  
"What's wrong with twenty one?" I hoped I got his age right, but surely he was too drunk to care if I hadn't.  
He hesitated. "When you're five everyone tells you that you're going to be great. That you're going to make a difference. That it's okay to be different. Santa exists, believing in magic isn't stupid and love is real. And then you grow up and the world fucks you over, you end up doing a stupid degree that you don't fucking want, have a massive student loan which you'll never be able to pay off and the person you love most doesn't even look at you twice. I fucking hate it."  
Not knowing what to say, I forced a laugh. "That got dark quickly."  
He shrugged, leaning forward so his hair fell over his face.  
"Carlisle?" I touched his hand as he gripped the chain so tightly his fingers were white. "It's not that bad."  
"You don't get it," he whispered, pulling away from me. "You're perfect."  
Again I couldn't acknowledge the comment. "So, who is this that doesn't love you back? Do I have to kick their ass?" _I love you._  
"It doesn't matter, Garrett. It isn't their fault," he mumbled.  
"Oh come on, who couldn't love you?" Although it hurt that he obviously liked someone, it hurt more that he was being rejected. _I love you so much. I'd never hurt you._ When he didn't answer, I asked: "Do I know them?"  
He glanced up, meeting my eye briefly, and nodded.  
"Do I know them well?"  
"…Yes…"  
 _Fuck, Siobhan._ "We'll talk about this in the morning, okay? When you're not intoxicated." I jerked him to his feet, holding back tears the rest of the way home at the confirmation that I had no chance. Of course he liked her. Of course I knew he could never like me.

I'd never understood the whole 'crying in the shower' thing. But, as of this morning, I did. At least here, no one would ask what was wrong, no one would try and hug me, and I wouldn't have to tell anyone that I was crying over a boy who didn't love me back like a teenaged girl with too many hormones.  
By the time I was dry and decent, I'd managed to convince myself that I could at least pretend to be normal. In reality I just really, really needed to see Carlisle.  
"Morning, honey," Kate teased as I came in, sliding her hand into the back pocket of my jeans.  
I pushed her hand away, in no mood. "Kate…Not today…"  
"Boy trouble, huh?"  
Spinning around, I quickly checked that neither Carlisle or Siobhan were in sight. "Shh, don't say that so loudly."  
"Just tell him, you dork."  
I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat. "I can't, Kate. It doesn't matter anyway; he loves…he doesn't love me."  
Rolling her eyes, she asked. "Because he's straight, right?"  
I nodded even though her question was sarcastic.  
"Oh, come here. Stop moping; you'll move on, you always do." Her arms found their way around my waist and she pulled me into a hug. "You're getting too caught up in this."  
"But I love him." I couldn't keep my voice steady and it came out more of a whimper.  
"Tell him then!"  
"I can't!"  
"You're frustrating," she grumbled.  
"You don't understand because Siobhan loves you!"  
"Because I told her- forget it, Garrett. Just trust me that everything will be fine."  
"I'm not fine!" Tears over flowed again and my throat hurt from trying not to sob.  
"Go and find a girl then! Or another boy! Go and do what you always do. You've gotten over every other crush you've had."  
I nodded, my thoughts starting to rationalise again. Carlisle was just a crush. A crush that would be gone as soon as I found someone I liked better.


	4. Chapter 4

**Carlisle POV**

As soon as Garrett called my name I found myself happily tracing the sound of his voice, but my joy was short lived.  
"Randall, I want you to meet Carlisle," he smiled, looking up at the other man almost shyly. Love sick. _Fuck_. And why was I jealous the he was introducing him to _me_ and not the other way round?  
Randall stiffly shook my hand and it was a struggle to keep the forced smile on my face.  
"It's nice to meet you," I mumbled, risking a glance at Garrett, who was still focused on _him_.  
Randall obviously didn't hear me. "Does he talk?" he asked Garrett.  
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Not often. You're very quiet, aren't you?" His smile didn't reassure me; we both knew it was only happening because it's what was expected of us.  
 _Hug me. Please._ I prayed silently that he might send Randall away now, but he didn't. _Please, Garrett, I really need a hug._  
"You're defiantly not going to be quiet tonight, are you," Randall murmured, leaning down to kiss the base of his neck.  
"I have a paper to finish." I didn't know if either of them heard me, but quite frankly I didn't give a fuck. Locking myself in my room was way to inviting to resist right now.

A few minutes later Garrett opened the door. So he did care. Maybe he would send Randall home and we could just pretend this never happened. He would tell me that Randall was a mistake and that he really wanted to be with me and I would tell him that I loved him too and everything would be okay. But no, that's all just a fucking fantasy, because the next thing that came out of his mouth was: "I'm going out, I'll see you later. Don't freak out if I don't make it home tonight."  
It felt like he'd punched me. Maybe that would have hurt less. All of a sudden I was that thirteen year old who got beaten up for their lunch money every day again. "Okay. Have fun." I don't know whether I managed to smile or not.  
Seconds later the front door closed and the apartment fell silent.

 _Why the fuck didn't he tell me?! It wasn't fucking fair! No 'hey Carlisle, I'm gay', just 'here's my fucking boyfriend and we're going on a fucking date tonight'._  
I tried to hate him, but the only emotion I could come up with was hurt. Although it was only six o'clock, I just went to bed, wrapping myself in the blankets as though they would act as some kind of emotional shield. Part of me was glad he wasn't home when I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. The problem was once I had started crying, I couldn't fucking stop. Even when my throat hurt and my head felt like it was going to explode I still couldn't turn it off.

 **Garrett POV**

Would he call, or would he not call? Staring at the phone didn't seem to help. It'd already been two hours.  
"Here," Carlisle mumbled, putting a plate in front of me.  
"What's this for?" I chuckled, glancing up at him and taking a bite of toast. "Since when do you feed me?"  
"Since you don't seem capable to think about anything other than Randall."  
I rolled my eyes but continued eating. "Thanks. But I don't need you to look after me."  
"Sure you don't. You've got Randall for that." I couldn't tell whether he was being sarcastic or not, but he went back to his room before I could ask him.  
Things had been kind of awkward between the two of us, but I wasn't sure why. Nothing had changed, had it? Nothing had changed except for me and Carlisle drifting apart.

"Randall!" I jumped on him the minute he knocked on the door, wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him. At least he was always pleased to see me, even if Carlisle wasn't.  
"Hey, babe," he laughed, kissing my cheek. "You ready to go?"  
"I was actually kind of wondering if you might like to stay here tonight..?" I asked carefully, suddenly feeling very shy.  
He just smiled. "Of course I would. It sounds wonderful!" He squeezed my waist before releasing me and following me back into the kitchen. "Is your dork here, still?"  
"Carlisle. His name's Carlisle. And yes, he's still here." I tried to correct him gently, but couldn't keep the sharpness out of my voice. "Where else would he go?"  
"Jesus, Garrett. It was just a question, calm down." His frown showed his disapproval.  
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just…on edge." As I looked down I felt my face flush.  
"Come here, you. It's fine." He held my face in his hands, pressing his lips against mine.  
Immediately I was dizzy with the want for more, pulling myself closer and closer to him.  
Grinning, he pushed me back onto the couch, crawling over me to cradle my waist. "Want me to push you over that edge?"  
"I'm already over it," I moaned into his mouth, trying to tug his shirt over his head.  
"Garrett- Cameron-" Randall started to warn me but I cut him off by shoving my tongue into his mouth.  
"His name's Carlisle," I corrected, failing to be annoyed about it at this point in time. "And he doesn't matter. Don't worry about him." Vaguely, I recognised the front door slamming.

 **Carlisle POV**

I didn't matter. I didn't matter to him. I didn't fucking matter. My ears were ringing and my vision was so blurred with tears I could barely see where I was going. I almost made it out of the apartment building before my stomach flipped, but instead I ended up defiling a rubbish bin.

I didn't matter.

The night air was freezing and the snow started again. It wasn't pretty or magical this time; I needed Garrett for that. Instead I just wandered aimlessly, suddenly very aware of having forgotten my jacket. Eventually I couldn't walk anymore, but there was no way I wanted to go home. I couldn't face him yet.

I didn't matter.

I woke up surround by white. The concrete under me felt like ice, but at least it was still dry. The eve of the doorway had been a good idea, the hollow in the front of the building protecting me from the worst of the weather. Still, my limbs screamed as I scrambled to my feet. I would have to go home; there was nowhere else to be.

"You went early this morning. I didn't hear you leave," Garrett commented non-committedly as I closed the front door. The warm air was more of a slap in the face than his words.  
I shook my head, unable to answer; I wasn't sure what would happen when I opened my mouth, whether I would abuse him or plead for help.  
"Carlisle?" he sounded annoyed now, and my emotions prickled.  
I just kept stumbling toward my room; I just wanted to be warm. The room became darker and darker, and Garrett's voice faded away slowly.  
"Why are you fucking ignoring me?" he demanded in the distance.  
And then he was gone. Everything was gone.

 **Garrett POV**

Gritting my teeth, I waited for him to respond, fuming. Instead, he sort of stumbled, hitting the ground a second later.  
"Shit! Carlisle!" I dropped my cup and rushed to kneel beside him. "Hey, wake up." I shook him, startled by how cold he was. His skin was like ice and he shivered uncontrollably. I hugged him, sort of pulling him into my lap. "Carlisle…" I whined. "Where did you go?"  
"Garrett, what are you doing?" Randall grumbled from the bedroom.  
"Something's wrong with Carlisle…" I whimpered, holding back tears.  
"Jesus Christ," he muttered, appearing in the doorway. "It's supposed to be me you're holding," he teased.  
"Randall! Help me! What do I do?" I cried desperately.  
He shrugged before taking him off me, easily picking him up and putting him on his bed. "Happy?"  
"No," I whimpered, wrapping him in blankets. I ran out of the room to find a hot water bottle, shoving it into Randall's arms. "Fill this up," I instructed, going back and sliding under the blankets with Carlisle. Wrapping my arms around him, I tried to transfer some of my heat into him, willing him to wake up again.  
It seemed like a life time before his shivering slowed. Very slowly, he started to become conscious again.  
"Where did you go, Carlisle?" I pressed gently, unable to help smiling as he cuddled into my side.  
"…F-for a w-walk…" he stammered, trying to suppress his shaking.  
"You should have taken a jacket," I scolded, mad at him now for doing this to himself. And now I was here looking after him instead of with Randall.  
"I w-wasn't t-thinking…I-I'm s-sorry…" he glanced up at me and I scowled back.  
"Yeah, well, think next time. I don't have time for this."  
He shoved me away abruptly. "Go then. Go back to Randall."  
"Come on, stop being stupid-"  
"I can look after myself. Leave me alone." He twisted to free himself from my arms, pulling the blankets around himself more tightly.  
"Fine," I grumbled. "But don't come crying to me when you want a hug."

"Everything okay?" Randall asked, glancing up as I fell back onto the bed.  
I shook my head. "He's acting like an ass."  
"Oh, you're alright. Like you said; he doesn't matter." He knelt in front of me, gently pressing his lips against mine, his fingers in my hair. "You've got me now, you don't need him." Sliding his arms around my waist, he hugged me to him, rubbing the tops of my arms. "We'll be okay, Garrett."  
"I love you," I mumbled into him, leaning my forehead against his shoulder.  
He chuckled lowly and kissed the top of my head. "I love you too. Do you want me to make you a drink?"  
"Carlisle might-"  
"Forget about Carlisle, baby. I'll make you some coffee okay?"  
I nodded, leaning up to try and kiss him again but he'd moved away. "Randall…" I started, leaning on the table as he set the cups out.  
"Hmm?" he glanced up at me over the pot of sugar.  
"I've got a condom in my wallet." It was a struggle to drop the comment casually, not to sound overeager and desperate.  
His eyes travelled up and down my body. "Do you now?" His lips were at my neck. "You know, I changed my sheets yesterday so-"  
"I don't need coffee." The words burst out of me suddenly, unexpectedly.  
"Are you sure? It'll only take a minute-"  
"No, Randall, now. Like right now." I was already pulling my jumper over my head.  
He just smiled teasingly, flicking off the power to the jug and reaching for my hand. "Are we going to say goodbye to Carlisle?"  
"He'll get the idea." My fingers caught his and I dragged him out the door.

 **Carlisle POV**

No matter what I did I couldn't warm up, and I didn't have the energy to squirm and create friction. When I tried to sit up my head swam and my body screamed in protest. Even trying to pick up one of the blankets off the floor was an effort that left me exhausted.  
"Garrett…" I really didn't want to call him, and I felt my face flush with whatever heat was left in my body, but there was no way I could get up by myself.  
He didn't answer me and I heard no movement in the house.  
"Garrett," I repeated, as loud as my throat would let me. "Please, Garrett…I really need you…" I hated how pathetic I sounded. Then it hit me; he wasn't even home…oh well, hopefully he was having fun...Even if it was with Randall.

Everything was harder when your hands shook, but the internet said that soup was supposed to help. So the carrots were chopped, pumpkin mashed and the pot boiled. It seemed to take forever but the steam coming off it was invitingly warm. I could have climbed inside the oven, desperately wishing for a heater.  
While I was waiting for it to cook, I threw myself into the shower, making the water as hot as it would allow. It made my skin red and my nose run but it was so fucking good I could have stayed there forever. The beep of the oven was the only thing that made me get out.

I couldn't cook. I learnt that the hard way. But it didn't matter; my nose was so blocked I couldn't taste anything anyway and it was way too hot but I could have swallowed buckets of it. It was so _warm._  
"Hey, what are you doing?" Garrett asked as he unlocked the front door.  
When I tried to answer him all that came out was a cough.  
"Soup, huh?" he grabbed a spoon before I could protest and stole a mouthful out of it out of the pot. He swallowed it before I could protest.  
"Garrett…I can't cook…it's gross…I'm sorry…" I mumbled. My voice sounded strange and foreign to my own ears.  
"It tastes fine," he chuckled, slapping me on the back. The sharp movement made my lungs hurt.  
… _Usually he would have hugged me._ Goddammit I needed that fucking hug. "You'd starve if I had to cook for you," I told him instead.  
"You're better at it than me, and we've lived this long. We'll survive a few more years."  
"And then what? You'll be gone?" I hadn't meant to ask, and I really didn't want to see the shocked expression on his face.  
"Shit, Carlisle. I didn't mean it like that. God, what's wrong with you lately, hmm?"  
"I…I just…I…"  
He rolled his eyes and flopped onto the couch, turning away from me.  
It was unbelievable how much that stung. "You just don't want to be around me anymore," I accused, in realisation as much as it was blame.  
"What are you talking about? I _live_ with you. I can't get away from you," he snapped back.  
"…But you don't talk to me now…you just come home and ignore me and then leave again and-"  
"Why does it matter, Carlisle?! We're not married!"  
"Because I miss you." I spun around so he wouldn't see me cry and took refuge in my room, closing the door and then sitting leaning against it so he couldn't open it.

 **Garrett POV**

What the fuck was this argument about, anyway? It didn't make sense to me. What had I done to make him mad at me? I didn't fucking need him anyway.  
"Carlisle, I'm going out," I called darkly, not even waiting for him to respond. Let him think I was with Randall then.

"Garrett! What are you doing here? Where's Carlisle?" the words bubbled from Kate's mouth, her surprise to see me evident.  
"We had a fight…" I mumbled, hugging her tightly.  
"Aww, a lovers tiff, huh?"  
"Don't, Kate," I growled. "Not now, please?"  
"Okay, honey, I'm sorry. Come inside, tell me what happened."  
"I don't know! He's just- he's acting like a jerk and I don't know what I did!" My throat hurt like I wanted to cry but I refused to. Not over him. Not again.  
"What'd he say?" she pressed gently. "I mean exactly."  
"He said I don't talk to him anymore. Which I do. I cant fucking get away from him. And he's so fucking rude to Randall-"  
"Whose Randall?" she interrupted.  
"Someone I've been seeing a little while…Anyway-"  
"Boyfriend?"  
I nodded, fighting a smile.  
She and Siobhan exchanged a knowing glance. "You love him?"  
"Yes…"  
Kate sighed heavily. "You need to talk to Carlisle, Garrett. He's probably not feeling too good about that."  
"I cant. He doesn't say much anymore. He's closed off."  
"You can stay here tonight, if you want, but you're going home tomorrow and you two are making it better, okay?"  
"I don't want to…in case we fight again…" I admitted childishly.  
"Yeah, well, you have to." That seemed final.

 **Randall POV**

My boy didn't call me that night so I decided I would pay him a visit. I missed him. Except when I knocked it was his stupid little roommate who opened the door, sleepily mumbling my name as if in wonder what I was doing here, disbelief almost.  
"Where's Garrett?" I asked, feigning politeness for my boyfriend's sake.  
"With you?" he slurred, rubbing his face.  
I pushed my way into the flat, slamming him against the closed door. "Listen, you little rat. I don't know what you're up to, but you'd better quit right now," I hissed, making him flinch away.  
"He's not here," he squeaked, fear reflecting in his eyes.  
"Well where is he then?" I growled, feeling him swallow under my forearm.  
"I-I thought he was with you- I-I don't know…" His fingers worked their way under my arm, trying to free himself. I could feel him shaking, although I wasn't sure if it was because he was terrified, or because of whatever disease he seemed to be carrying at the moment. His temperature leaked into my skin. He was cute when he was scared, I would give him that.  
"You'll have to do then, wont you?" I pushed his damp hair off his face, forcing him to look up at me with the other hand. "You don't have aids or anything? I can do this without a condom?" Mostly I just wanted to scare him with the question, and by his look of panic it worked.  
"No-no Randall please- I don't want to do that- please don't make me-"  
I forced my lips against his, kissing him roughly and pulling his hair. A small whimper escaped him as I ripped at his clothing, and he tried to shove my hands away. Sliding off my belt, I wound it around my hand, lashing out at him with the buckled end. It left a red welt on the side of his face and he was crying openly now. "Shut up," I snarled, squeezing his throat to silence him when he didn't obey.  
He gagged but couldn't bring anything up through the pressure. Although he had his hands against my waist, he didn't have to strength to shove me back, the lack of oxygen making him dizzy. I kissed him again.  
Suddenly, the lock clicked and the door open. Thankfully, in the state he was in, Carlisle wasn't a quick thinker.  
"Garrett, this fucker just attacked me. I think we need to leave. I don't feel safe leaving you here; I want you to stay with me." I pushed the other boy away quickly like I was disgusted by him.  
Garrett stood there, open-mouthed and in shock while he glanced up at him. "Fuck you, Carlisle! I love him! Why the fuck would you do that! Are you a fucking whore?!" He slapped him, hard enough for him to fall back against the bench.  
"I didn't- I didn't- Garrett- please-" he pleaded, struggling to breathe and creating what Garrett must have thought were sobs, but in reality it were just desperate gasps for air. I was just thankful it hadn't been long enough for any bruising to show through; otherwise I would have been screwed.  
"Why would you do that?" he demanded again, starting to cry himself. "I trusted you, Carlisle!"  
I wound my arms around his waist, pulling him back into me. "It's okay, Garrett. We can go now, okay? You don't have to see him again for a while. I can pick up some stuff for you," I murmured, loud enough for the other one to hear me.  
Carlisle looked from me to him and back again. "Garrett he's not safe! Don't go! He could hurt you!" he cried, reaching for him.  
"Get off me." He pushed his hands away and stormed out the door, dragging me behind him.  
I turned to smile innocently at the other boy. I had won, and he had lost. The fight was over.


	5. Chapter 5

**Siobhan POV**

"Do you think Garrett and Carlisle made up?" I asked Kate absentmindedly as ads began to flash across the TV. It'd been three weeks since Garrett stayed with us and we hadn't heard anything from either of them.  
In my arms, she turned to look at me, a smirk on her face. "Please. They probably made _out_."  
"Kate," I chuckled. "Seriously, do you think they're okay?"  
"I think they're fine. God knows Garrett is obsessed with that child."  
"If he loves Carlisle than what the fuck is Randall?"  
She shrugged and handed me the phone. "Call them if you're so concerned."  
Untangling myself from her, I stood and moved into the kitchen. For some reason, even though it was Garrett's cell that I originally keyed in, I deleted it on gut instinct and called Carlisle instead. It rang for a good minute before he answered.  
"Siobhan?" he asked cautiously.  
"Hey, are you okay to talk?" I asked, wondering if maybe I'd interrupted something due to his hesitance.  
"Yes," he mumbled distractedly.  
"We haven't seen you two in a while."  
"…Guess not."  
I frowned; something was wrong, I could hear it in his voice. "Are you okay, sweetie?"  
"I'm fine," he told me, forcing himself to sound happier.  
"Really?"  
"Yep."  
"Carlisle, what happened?" I pressed desperately.  
"Nothing."  
"Where's Garrett?"  
For a moment he didn't say anything. "Oh, um, he's at home."  
" _Carlisle_ ," I warned. "You'd better not be lying to me."  
"It's not a lie, mother," he grumbled.  
I rolled my eyes; Garrett had stuck that nickname to me on more than one occasion. "I'm allowed to care about you. Especially since you don't seem to want to do it yourself."  
"I can look after myself," he protested quietly.  
"Carlisle, where is Garrett?"  
"He's at home, I told you." His voice got quieter.  
"Then where are you?" I demanded, scared now.  
"…I'm home too…"  
"I swear to god, if you're lying to me I'm going to kill you-"  
"I have to go, Siobhan. Say hi to Kate for me-"  
"Don't you dare hang up," I threatened.  
"But-"  
"Carlisle!"  
"I don't want to talk about this- I have to go. I love you." He'd never said that to me in his entire life and I couldn't think why he'd say it now.  
" _Carlisle!_ "  
The phone went dead anyway and I gritted my teeth. "Kate, we still got that key of theirs?"  
She motioned to the bench and I saw a glint of silver.  
"I'll be back later. Something isn't right."

I knocked first, but no one opened the door. "Garrett, Carlisle, you two better have pants on," I teased, but I heard no movement. _So the fucker had been lying to me._ Still, I went into the longue in search of them, and then investigated down the hallway.  
"Carlisle." I lent on his doorframe.  
He didn't wake up at the sound of my voice, so I jumped on the side of the bed, a movement that should have rendered anyone awake. But he still didn't react.  
"Holy shit. Carlisle!" I held my fingers against his throat, checking for a pulse and scared at how pale he was. "Carlisle," I shook him this time, and he slowly started to come around. "Wake up!"  
"…Garrett..?" he mumbled hopefully, sleepily rubbing his face.  
"No, honey, it's just me." I brushed his hair out of the way and kissed his forehead.  
"Hmm…" He started to fall asleep again.  
"Carlisle! Sit up." I pulled him upright and made him lean against the headboard. "What's wrong with you? Have you taken something?" I eyed the tablets on his bedside table.  
"Sleeping pill…"  
"How many? Do I need to call an ambulance?" I demanded.  
"No…only two…just so I can sleep…"  
I sighed in relief, hugging him tightly. "You're really cold, sweetie. Do you want another blanket?"  
"…Just want to sleep…" he mumbled against my shoulder, sort of cuddling into me.  
"Do you want me to stay with you?" I kept my arms around him when he nodded tiredly but lay down, effectively spooning him but at this point it didn't matter. It literally took seconds for him to fall asleep again.

About three hours later he slowly came around again but still wasn't very coherent.  
"How are you feeling?" I asked him softly.  
"…Sleepy..?"  
"You're adorable. Do you want something to eat? I can make you dinner if you want?"  
He slowly sat up. "…hmm…have to go to supermarket first…"  
"Surely you must have something," I insisted.  
He shook his head. "Not really…I only started work yesterday and I haven't had time and-"  
"Okay, okay, it's alright. Don't worry." I could sense him getting upset. "We can go out then. I have to feed you. So, you want to go now or wait for a while?"  
Carlisle just shook his head, leaning against me again. He was still very pale and didn't look well at all, really.  
"Come on, at least have something to drink." I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled him to his feet, steadying him.  
He whimpered softly, his legs buckling under him. "Siobhan I'm really dizzy…" He reached out in search of the wall, trying to find something to hold onto.  
"You're okay, I'm here." He was light enough that it was easy for me to support him. "You've lost weight, love. Have you been sick?" I ran my hands down his sides and he shifted away from me. "Carlisle," I warned. "Why haven't you been eating?"  
"Because…I couldn't- I just couldn't." He looked away to avoid me so I just hugged him again, not knowing what else to do.  
"Put your jacket on, let's go get dinner, yes?" I picked up the item of clothing and sort of pulled it onto him.  
His movements were fumbled and clumsy but he followed me anyway.  
"Is Garrett home? Do I need to feed him too?.  
"No…" As he shook his head he glanced down, letting his hair fall over his face and obscuring his expression from me.  
"Okay, come. Let's just get something in you, alright?" Taking his hand, I took him down the stair well and out onto the street, pulling him in the direction of the nearest restaurant I could think of.

 **Carlisle POV**

"Eat, Carlisle," Siobhan urged, pushing my plate toward me again after I'd pushed it away. "Don't make me force feed you." A frown fell across her face.  
Seeing she was concerned, I forced down a few more mouthfuls, trying to keep a straight face. In two weeks I hadn't had a proper meal and I hadn't eaten anything at all for at least a week, and it was incredible how much my stomach had shrunk. Even the small amount that I had eaten hurt, although I desperately tried not to show it.  
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked me for the millionth time.  
I nodded, but the action made the room spin so I folded my arms against the table, resting my head on them, trying to pass the action off as an effect of tiredness.  
She slid into the seat next to me, hugging my shoulders. "What's up with you, hmm? Where's Garrett? He should be taking care of you."  
"G-Garrett's…" Swallowing hurt and I felt sick. "He's with Randall…"  
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around my waist, but somehow I managed to keep from crying. "And what is this about having a job I hear? You didn't used to work, did you?"  
I couldn't tell her that Randall tried to hurt me. That I had to have a job to pay for the apartment now Garrett was gone because one student allowance wasn't enough. That I had to choose between eating and keeping the house in the first place. That I knew I was sick because I wasn't eating. That I didn't matter. None of mattered really. It'd just be better if I went to sleep.

Over the next few weeks it became increasingly hard to act normally. Siobhan tried her best to look after me and I tried my best to pretend that it was working. I'd never been more grateful to anyone in my entire life and part of me wished I could fall in love with her instead. I was fired from three different jobs because I couldn't put in the hours they wanted from me and I always fell asleep. My grades began to drop until I was barely passing. After a while I came to the conclusion that it wasn't Garrett's leaving that caused all this, but rather my own uselessness; everyone else coped under the same circumstances.

The words on the page in front of me were suddenly swallowed by darkness. "Shit." Scrambling off my bed, I flicked the light switch several time to no avail. "Please be a power cut." Leaning out the window into the cold air, I discovered that everyone else on the block had lights; I had just failed to pay my power bill on time. Without anything else to do, I just went to bed, bathing in self-pity.  
But of course, Siobhan had to butt in, didn't she?  
"Carlisle? You home, baby?" She knocked on the door.  
 _Why did she have to call me that?_ Grumbling to myself, I went and opened it. "What?"  
"Why are you in the dark?" she teased. "Surely you cant be wanting to go to bed this early- are you entertaining a guest, Carlisle?" She eyed me suspiciously and I was grateful I was fully dressed.  
"Not anymore." I slammed it in her face, stalking off again.  
"Carlisle! Don't be a jerk! I'm trying to help you!" she growled, flinging it open again. I would have to take that key off her.  
"I don't want your fucking help! Leave me alone!" I held my ground, my eyes burning with tears.  
"You need my help-"  
"I'm an adult! Go away, Siobhan! You just have to poke into everyone else's business all the time! I don't want you here, I don't want your help, and I don't want you. Give me that damn key." I snatched the silver object from her hand.  
She glared at me and I bit my lip, knowing I'd crossed some form of line. "If you want to be _mean_ , Carlisle, I have plenty of ammunition, but luckily, I'm not childish enough to want to hurt you back. You're obviously _not_ capable of caring for yourself because you're sitting here in the dark at eight o'clock. You need to go back to your mother and get her to teach you how to grow up." She spun around, stomping back down the hallway. "And stop moping over Garrett! If you'd loved him that much you would have said something. Now stop acting like you're twelve."  
I was grateful she was gone as the tears overflowed. She knew goddamn well I didn't have a mother. In a moment of pure frustration, I slammed the door, punching the back of it. Pain shot through my hand, but I found it hard to give a shit. She was right. I just needed to grow up. And stop acting like an asshole, that would help too.  
"Why are you such a fucking idiot?" In a blind rage now, I threw the plate on the bench onto the tiles, fuming as I watching it smash. "You're such a fucking asshole, Carlisle!" The cup went as well.  
My neighbour yelled at me through the wall, accusing me of making too much noise.  
I gritted my teeth, aware that I'd pushed myself over some form of edge. "Fuck off!" For some reason it irked me even more that he didn't reply; I wanted – no, needed – to fight someone. Anyone.  
"Walk if off, fuckwit," I cursed myself, stalking out the front door. I tried to convince myself that I didn't _really_ want to punch my neighbour. Not really. Just a little. In reality it was myself that I wanted to punch.

Once they'd taken my hot water and showers were permanently cold in the morning, I realised this was getting ridiculous. Who was I kidding? Garrett wasn't coming back. I was just a fucking idiot. An idiot that needed to find a flatmate willing to put up with him.  
And so Phil came into the picture. He was the only one who answered my ad.

I felt safe; Phil didn't sound like the name of anyone worth any damage. Phil would be a bookworm, just like me. We wouldn't speak much, but we'd get on well. The lights would turn on again, and the water would be warm.  
But Phil wasn't like that. Phil was covered in tattoos and filled an entire doorway. Phil worked out every day and drank every night. Phil became violent when he drank. Phil said he didn't like losers. Phil said I was a loser.  
Yet living with Phil was better than being alone. As long as I stayed in my room, he didn't hurt me. As long as I only came into the kitchen after he and his friends passed out, he didn't hurt me. As long as I didn't speak unless spoken to and never raised my eyes from the floor, he didn't hurt me. As long as I locked my room at night, he didn't hurt me.  
Phil only stayed three months before leaving suddenly; claiming he'd had enough of living with a "faggot". Phil moved out, and I was back to square one.

So I tried to move out. But nobody would take me on. I was called 'uncomfortable', 'awkward', 'weird', 'not right' and 'fucked up'. Toward the end I couldn't hold it together long enough for an interview, so I just gave up. My name, plea and phone number went back in the paper. And eventually, someone answered.

I could barely breathe as I opened the door, anxiety compressing my lungs. Forcing a smile onto my face was harder than I wanted to admit.  
"Hi, I'm Charlie. You must be Carlisle." He smile was almost goofy, but it suited him and I immediately felt more at ease. He shook my hand before I could move. No hug, not like Garrett.  
"H-hi…" I hated myself for stuttering.  
He just laughed. "Do I pass inspection? Am I allowed in?"  
I blushed, realising I'd been blocking the doorway for almost a minute since his introduction, just staring at him blankly. "Sorry…I'm just…I-I really nervous…" I admitted, biting my lip.  
He squeezed my shoulder, sympathy in his eyes. "Had a bad experience, my friend?"  
My eyes burnt and it was suddenly hard to swallow.  
"I wont hurt you, Carlisle, I promise. But I would like to put my bag down, if that's okay." He raised his eyebrows at me, still smiling.  
I nodded and got out of the way, not sure what sound would come out of my mouth when I spoke.  
He chuckled quietly. "I need you to show me my room; I don't know where I'm going?" he suggested softly.  
"I-I'm sorry, C-Charlie- I d-don't know what's wrong w-with m-me." And with that I broke down again, unable to stop the tears, crying until I thought I was going to be sick. Crying in front of a stranger. He was going to leave, and it's my fault. He was going to leave, and I was going to lose the apartment.  
He dropped his bag. "Come here, it's okay." He hugged me tightly like we were old friends. "You don't have to worry about me, Carlisle."  
"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry- You shouldn't have had to- we should have had a better meeting-" I led him down the hallway to Garrett's- Charlie's room. His room.  
"Don't worry about it," he smiled. "We can start again, okay?" He waited for me to wipe my face and calm down a bit before holding out his hand again. "I'm Charlie. You must be Carlisle."  
Giddy, I re-shook his hand. "H-hi Charlie. Thank you for…thank you."  
"Don't worry about it. Thank you for having me." He looked at me expectantly.  
"…I don't know what to do now…" I whispered, dropping my eyes to the floor and praying he wouldn't hit me.  
"Now I unpack, and then later I'll buy us some takeaways, okay?"  
I nodded slowly, wondering how I would pay him back and feeling positively ill. The world was slightly warped as I stumbled back to my room.

A knock on my door made me look up from my book. I glanced up at Charlie.  
"You want to eat now?" he asked, a grin plastered on his face.  
"I-I cant," I stammered quickly. "Not with you- shit- I mean…I cant- the budget doesn't fit-" My stomach hurt at the thought of everything not fitting perfectly within the confines of the table drawn up on my wall, the table which had kept me alive the past few months. Even a few dollars over would screw me up.  
"It's fine. I'll pay," he told me easily.  
"No- Charlie I cant let you do that…it's not fair…" _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._  
"It's too late; I've already ordered. I hope pizza is okay?"  
I swallowed thickly and nodded, unable to move yet.  
"Come, let's talk for a bit, okay?" he motioned for me to follow him down the hall and into the kitchen.  
It was hard to force myself to go after him. I had to trust him. I _had_ to. I sat opposite him at the table, holding my breath.  
"So, Carlisle, you're at university, right? What do you study?" He looked so kind, but I felt so scared.  
"Y-yeah…I-I study medicine…I want to be a doctor…" I waited for him to ridicule me as everyone else seemed to.  
"That's cool. I'm part of the police academy."  
"S-so you're one of the good guys, then?" I cursed myself for the question.  
"Of course." He reached across to pat my hand as I tightly gripped the edge of the table. "You're safe."  
I wanted to cry. "Thank you, Charlie. Thank you so much."


	6. Chapter 6

**Garrett POV**

"I'm sorry he did that to you, babe," Randal murmured, hugging me tightly. "That guy's a bustard." He kissed my neck but I found it hard to respond to him. I just felt numb.  
Carlisle had never done anything before to fail my trust in him; neither had he ever indicated that he was even _interested_ in men, so why would he have done that Randal? And I'd hit him. Surely if he was innocent, then he wouldn't want to speak to me now, and if he _wasn't_ innocent then I certainly wanted nothing to do with him. So it was over. Carlisle was gone. Forever. Great.  
"You okay? You're very quiet," he pressed, pulling at my belt.  
I pushed his hands away, shaking my head.  
He let out a heavy sigh and rolled onto the bed next to me, his arm still around my waist. "What's wrong?"  
"I miss him," I whispered, burying my face in his shoulder.  
"Oh, come here, you. You're alright. We don't need him." He pressed his lips against my cheek, rubbing my back. "You'll be fine, Garrett. We can make each other happy."  
"You already make me happy…"  
He chuckled under his breath. "And you already make me happy. Now, I know something that you can do that will make me even happier." He was rougher this time when he kissed me and it hurt a little when he pulled at my clothes, but god damn it was exciting.

In the morning it was the same thing all over again, but this time it was not nearly as enjoyable. I just wanted to sleep; it was only six am, but Randal said no; if I was going to live with him then I had to live by his rules. Which was fair, I guess. Except he wanted sex whenever he said so, regardless to how I felt about it. Which meant it fucking hurt. This habit of his seemed to continue and as the weeks ran into each other and his demands became more frequent. Eventually, it all became too much.

I got home just after him, having been at uni all day, and he was already prepared. He grabbed me the minute I came in the door, pushing me back onto the bed and pinning me down at my wrists.  
"No- Randal stop. I don't want to. Not now." I struggled against him, turning my face away so he couldn't kiss me.  
"You'll do as I say," he growled, his knee in my chest as he forced me to look at him. "I own you, remember?" This was his new thing; asserting his dominance, I suppose.  
I nodded, swallowing hard. "Y-yes, you look after me…but I don't want to do this…" I whispered. "It'll hurt…"  
"I've never hurt you," he insisted, forcing his tongue into my mouth and biting my lip.  
"…It's not comfortable," I broached the subject carefully, nervous about his reaction.  
"I think it's fine." Seeing the hard expression on his face, I kept my mouth shut; this wasn't going to end well.

 **Charlie POV**

Carlisle was cool. He helped me a lot with assignments that I struggled with and came running with me every morning so I didn't have to go alone. In three weeks he had as much fitness as any of the other boys in the police academy did, and had better logic, but he insisted he'd rather be in medical school. In turn, I apparently made him feel safe; I knew it made him nervous whenever he was home alone and he hated opening the door at all, so for me doing that, he insisted on doing both of our dishes at the end of the day. He was nice, unlike any of the other people I'd tried to flat with; he wasn't catty, loud, messy or rude. He fun and accepting, pretty much willing to try anything despite his continuously nervous persona. He just didn't like people.

"Hey, dude, is it okay if I get a couple of friends over later?" I asked, leaning in Carlisle door.  
He glanced up at me from the piece of paper he was scribbling on. "Yeah, that's fine. You live here too; I'm not your boss."  
I couldn't help but laugh. "I just didn't want a bunch of rowdy boys coming in here and chasing you from your nest."  
"I'll stay in my nest, don't worry." A smile crept onto his face and he threw the pen across the room, watching it slid across the desk.  
"Thanks," I chuckled, pulling out my phone to tell them we were on.

Even though they'd been here for almost two hours, I hadn't seen Carlisle once, and I badly wanted to introduce them. Sure, they were loud and couldn't put food in their mouths without it getting on their shirt, but they were amusing. Part of me wondered if their noise scared him.  
"Carlisle, come meet them, they wont bite," I teased, opening his bedroom door.  
"I'll only embarrass you," he argued, dropping his book onto the bed.  
"No, you wont," I rolled my eyes. "Come. I _want_ you to."  
"Why? So they know your flatmate's a pushover? So they know you live with a loser?" he snapped, looking apologetic immediately. "I sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm sure they're nice, but I just…"  
I shut the door, leaning my back against it. "You think they wont like you, and that they'll think you're so horrible that they wont like me anymore?" I clarified.  
He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek.  
"Well, if they don't like you, then we're going to have a problem because _I_ like you."  
"I'm weird."  
"So am I. Weird is cool. Come on, you're not escaping this. If you're going to be a doctor, then you're going to need more practise meeting people, now come."  
He paled a little, like he felt sick.  
" _Come on, Carlisle._ " I reached for his hand and after a minute of contemplation he gave it to me, and I pulled his from his room. "Carlisle, meet Emmett and Jasper. Emmett and Jasper, meet Carlisle." I indicated to each one in turn.  
Carlisle swallowed thickly, glancing at me.  
They both grinned. "He's cute. I like him," Emmett announced.  
"They look big and scary, but they're teddy bears, really," I assured him. "We're the good guys, remember?"  
He sat at the table next to me, but as far from the other two as he could get, and his breath caught in his throat.  
"You're fine, Carlisle. It's okay," I whispered while they were distracted with each other. "Don't be so nervous."  
"I have social anxiety. I cant help it," he squeaked.  
"I wont make you stay, then, but I've got you, okay?" I hugged him, suddenly realising why flatmates were such a big deal to him.  
He nodded, squeezing the edge of the table so tightly I wondered if his fingers hurt.

 **Garrett POV**

People were starting to notice the bruises from Randal's fingers. Randal's fingers slowly started to get more and more painful. My stomach was in knots around the time he always came home as I waited for whatever onslaught of 'favours' he wanted. Asshole.

"Garrett, baby," he called, coming in the door.  
I gritted my teeth, more angry than scared. I just wanted to get it over with, shower and go to bed. Tonight would not be one of the nights where it was fun for both of us. "Yes, Randal?"  
He appeared in front of me, looking me up and down. "Are you ready for our date?" he smiled.  
I repressed a shudder. "Date?" I asked cautiously; suddenly missing Friday nights on the couch with the x-box and a couple of beers.  
"Hmm. I thought we would have a little fun tonight." Seeing the expression on my face he added: "I mean something that you enjoy as well. I thought we could go somewhere nice for dinner, and then maybe see a movie?"  
Relief washed over me and I threw my arms around his neck. "Yes! That sounds great!" I kissed him willingly for the first time in weeks.  
He chuckled. "Just let me get changed and then we'll go, okay?"  
I nodded eagerly, following him into the bedroom to watch him get undressed.  
"Are you enjoying this, Garrett?" he teased playfully.  
I bit my lip. "Maybe."  
"I wont force you, but maybe our date wont end when we get in tonight, hmm? We'll do whatever you want." He kissed the end of my nose before finishing changing.

It was wonderful, really. He brought me dinner in the fanciest restaurant I'd ever set foot in, and then we went and saw the sappiest movie that I cant even remember the name of because I was too busy staring at him. I suddenly remembered why I loved him so much. This time the sex wasn't painful, but amazing. The sudden change in Randal was astounding and I had no idea what caused it, but I loved it and hoped nothing would ever change. The bruises and demands in the bedroom didn't matter anymore. He made me feel loved and important, _wanted._ He made me feel wanted. But still, I found myself wishing that I was doing all this with Carlisle. 

**Carlisle POV**

"I'm going out," Charlie told me, swallowing a mouthful of toast that I was sure was too big for this throat.  
I tried to cover my anxiety; I hated being home alone in case I had to answer the phone…or the door…or speak to anyone else in general… "Okay." I tried to keep my voice steady. I tried to keep Phil out of my head as much as possible. "Have fun."  
"Do you have a lecture this morning?" he asked, leaning across the counter to get a better view of me.  
I shifted so he couldn't see me, trying to hide my panic. "No. Not today."  
"Going to the library again?"  
I felt my face turn red; my behaviour was that noticeable. I took refuge in the library whenever Charlie went out; nobody ever spoke to me there, and I could lose myself in a book. Books were not scary.  
"Well, then you're coming with me."  
"No- Charlie, I'm fine, really. Your friends are nice and everything I just-"  
"Just me and you, Carlisle. I'm not parking on the side of the road for five hours by myself. You can suffer too." He grinned at me and I found myself smiling back, suddenly not nervous anymore.  
 _Charlie wanted to spend time with me. Like normal friends._ "Deal."  
"I just have to pick up a speed camera first."  
"Sure." I couldn't stop smiling now, even though I was aware he was laughing at me.  
"You're cute. Let's go."

"You know, I'm ninety per cent sure you said 'speed camera', not 'ice cream'," I teased, biting into the cold substance anyway and cringing as my teeth shuddered.  
"Yeah, well, it's in the boot. Ice cream is more important. Hold this." He shoved his into my hand and got out of the car.  
"Charlie?"  
"Carlisle?" he laughed, mocking my tone.  
"Your ice cream is running?"  
"You don't like being sticky?" He winked at me as he got back in the car, holding the device.  
"I don't mind it," I told him, fighting blushing. "But I bet that camera will."  
He laughed and set it on the dashboard, taking the ice cream off me. "Happy?"  
"Very."  
"Good. You suit happy." A silence fell over us, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Charlie was one of the most comfortable people I knew. "Tell me, Carlisle, where's your girlfriend?"  
"Um…"  
"I see how it is. 'It's complicated'." He watched me out of the corner of his eye, grinning slyly.  
"Ah…no. No girlfriend." I bit the inside of my cheek, trying my hardest to avoid meeting his eye.  
"Why? Surely someone like you gets plenty of attention from them? I mean, I've got the 'I'm a cop' thing which is apparently a turn on, but you've got the doctor thing. Girls love that. And don't you give me the whole 'girls don't like nice guys' spiel, or I'll taser you right now." He was giggling now, both of us were.  
"I've never had a girlfriend, Charlie- don't look at me like that. It's true."  
"Never been kissed then?"  
My mouth went dry and I sat on my hands to stop them trembling. _Surely he wouldn't._ "Once," I answered. "It was awful."  
To my relief he just laughed loudly. "Okay, let's play a game. See that girl over there, is she hot?" he gestured out the window to one of the girls walking along the path.  
"Um…I guess…" _What the fuck made girls hot?_ In reality, I really didn't see it.  
"You seem unsure," he teased. "What about her?"  
"Ahh…"  
"Alright, if you don't like them, then what exactly _is_ your type?"  
"Are you trying to put me in a box, Charlie?" I chuckled.  
"Yes. You confuse me. Her?"  
"Charlie-"  
"Come on, you cant _not_ like her. Pick someone then."  
"Him," I said without thinking, indicating the boy I had been trying to subtly watch the entire time. _Oh shit._  
His smile widened as my cheeks burnt. "I didn't think you went that way, Carlisle, but tell me, do you think I'm cute?"  
I tried to decide whether he was mocking me, or whether he was serious. Sarcasm seemed like my best option.  
"You'd better hope I don't bend you over right now, Officer Swan."  
We looked at each other and burst into hysterics. "You're so sweet," he teased.  
"Fuck off. Shut up and point your stupid camera."  
He spun it around and aimed it at me. "I brought you ice cream, does that mean it's a date?"  
"You're a jerk," I laughed.  
"Okay, okay. Fine." He got out of the car suddenly and I watched in horror as he strutted over to the other boy. I looked at them through my fingers, hardly daring to.  
After a minute he came back, a cocky smile on his face. "I gave him your number."  
"Why?" I groaned. "That's gross."  
"Yeah, he's got a girlfriend. I think you're out of luck."  
"I said he was cute, not that I wanted to fuck him," I giggled, a little more relaxed now.  
"But you want to fuck me?" he teased.  
"Sure."  
He rolled his eyes. "Keep it in your pants, buddy. Or better, go stick it in him."  
"Oh my god."  
"Gay or not, you're still a dude, and therefore will screw anything given the right opportunity."  
"That's a stereotype, and you know it."  
"Okay," he sang. "But for the record, while I'm single, I'd go for any girl that asked me."  
"You're not single," I teased. "You're desperate."  
"Shut up, jerk."  
"Love you."  
He pushed me with his shoulder. "I think I'd better actually do something now. I mean, I could tease you all day, but sadly that doesn't help my training any."


	7. Chapter 7

**Garrett POV**

I hadn't seen Carlisle in over eight months, the eight months I spent with Randall, but I missed him horribly. Randall provided a weak distraction, but it wasn't enough. Even when he was being the gentleman, I couldn't bring myself to love him properly. Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Randall, we need to talk," I started carefully, coming to stand behind him while he sat on the couch.  
"About what, babe?" He caught my waist, pulling me around to him and kissing my neck.  
"About- about us." Dear god he was distracting. I could barely think over what his hands were doing.  
"What's wrong with us?" he questioned. "I love you. You love me. That's it." His tone was cold and I felt a little sick.  
"B-but…look, you're a really nice guy and everything, but I cant…I cant love you like that, Randall…I'm in love with Carlisle…"  
His hands tightened considerably around me, his fingers digging into my skin. "What?"  
"Randall you're hurting me," I squeaked, twisting to get free.  
"No! You're hurting me!" He lashed out, his hand knocking my head sideways.  
"S-stop, p-please s-stop…"  
"You fucking stop!" I felt my feet slid out from under me and my head hit the edge of the table as I fell backwards, my vision fading immediately. Even though I couldn't see, I scrambled to get away from him. This was defiantly the most serious attack he'd lodged against me.  
"Don't run from me, Garrett," he growled lowly, his foot pressing down on my thigh to stop my escape. As I tried to wriggle away, he threw his weight down on it.

There was a horrendously loud crunch and everything felt cold. Then there was nothing but blinding pain.

 **Randall POV**

I felt the bone in Garrett's leg give way as I pushed down on it. He screamed immediately, vomiting seconds later.  
"Shh, come now, sweetheart, be good for me." I knelt beside him stroking his face.  
His eyes were glassy and he was very pale; I wasn't even sure he was seeing me. He whimpered softly as I picked him, and gave a sharp cry when I set him on the bed.  
"Be good for me, Garrett," I repeated, sitting next to him and taking him hand.  
"…Carlisle…" he slurred, gingerly touching the injury.  
I slapped his hand away, suddenly angry. "Don't you dare mention him again, you hear me? I've had enough," I spat, squeezing his wrist.  
A quiet sob escaped him and I could feel his whole body trembling.  
"Don't cry," I demanded, shaking him a little.  
"I-I want to go home," he sniffed, bursting into tears.  
"You _are_ home," I told him coldly.  
He shook his head, struggling against me to sit up.  
" _Don't_ , Garrett." I put my hand on his leg, pressing down a little.  
His whole body tensed and he held his hand against his mouth to muffle a moan.  
"Oh, shut up. It doesn't hurt that much." I kicked the bed on the way out, producing another whimper. "I'm going to work. Stay there."  
"No- no Randal please- I need to g-go to the hospital…" he pleaded, starting to lose consciousness.  
I eyed the phone on the bedside table and unplugged it from the wall, hiding it in the kitchen. I stalked back to him and snatched his cell phone out of his pocket, dropping into a glass of water.  
"Please help me," he begged, watching my actions in dismay.  
"When you learn to be good, then I will get you some pain relief, okay?" I knelt beside him, kissing his cheek before heading out the front door.

 **Garrett POV**

I couldn't move even if he'd let me; I was too lightheaded and every time I shifted my leg screamed. But today was worse, because not only was I suffering the injuries that Randal had inflicted on me, but self-induced guilt as well.  
"R-Randal…" I started when I heard him in the kitchen.  
"Yes, my love?"  
I struggled not to shudder as he ran his hands up my body, purposefully touching the break. "C-can I…Can I g-get up please..?"

His gaze turned cold and his hands stopped. "Why would you want to do that, hmm? I thought you said this hurt?" He pulled at the fabric of my jeans, creating a sort of burning sensation.  
"B-because…please? J-just to get something to eat and go to the bathroom?"  
"But you've been bad, my little one. You don't deserve anything to eat."  
"R-Randal-" I choked on a sob, my stomach threatening to make me sick.  
"No," he snapped, his fist colliding with my cheek bone.  
"…C-can I use the phone please..?"  
"Why? So you can ring the pigs? You wouldn't do that to me, would you baby?"  
"N-no…I just want to call Carlisle," I whispered. "It's his birthday."  
"I told you he didn't matter! I told you not to speak of him!" He dragged something across my stomach in one swift movement, and I was vaguely aware that I was screaming and he was yelling at me not to. He kept cutting but I couldn't stop, so he shoved something into my mouth. "YOU BELONG TO ME!" he screamed over and over again, hitting me every time I tried to struggle against him. "YOU BELONG TO ME!"  
As I tried to lash out at him, he caught my wrist, snapping it the wrong way before using his belt to tie me to edge of the bed. One more blow was enough to render me unconscious.

 **Charlie POV**

"Hey," I shook Carlisle awake, turning on the lamp seconds afterwards. "You need to get dressed, okay? We have to go out." He came with me on all the cases he was allowed, and I knew for a fact he would struggle stomaching being here alone at night, so there was no way I was leaving him here now. Besides, I needed a paramedic.  
"Hmm? Why?" Half asleep, he struggled to untangle himself from his blankets and sit up to face me.  
"You're coming on a case with me, that's why," I chuckled, messing up his already messy hair.  
"In the morning?" He was still dazed, I could tell, but was slowly starting to comply with my previous instructions.  
I shook my head. "Now, I'm afraid. You and me, let's go. Emm and Jasper are meeting us there."  
"Where…?"  
I just shook my head and threw his jacket at him. "I'll be in the kitchen. You have five minutes."

"Ready?" Carlisle whispered to me, reaching down to squeeze my hand.  
"As ready as I'll ever be," I whispered back. We'd been called out to a possible domestic violence case; the neighbour had reported a disturbance next door, one of many. Apparently he'd seen one tenant leave but not the other and had been worried. "I'll call for you, okay? Don't move until one of us tells you to."  
He nodded, fidgeting in the seat next to me.  
"And lock the doors. I don't want that creep touching you," I instructed, tossing him the keys as I got out.  
Carlisle was looking more nervous by the second but I didn't have time to worry about that as I raced up the stairs after the other two.

The boy was a wreck. He was covered in blood, vomiting, unable to speak, and in what I could only guess was shock. After thoroughly checking the apartment for anyone else, namely the one who had done this to him, I rang Carlisle, telling him to come immediately.  
When he appeared he was slightly too pale and obviously anxious. "Yes- oh my god, Garrett! Charlie call an ambulance!"  
"I have, Carlisle. You know him?" I asked confused.  
"Yes, he was my old flat mate. His name is Garrett. He moved in with his boyfriend, Randal, who's a violent asshole and probably did this," he explained quickly, untying the boy and assessing his wounds.  
Garrett whimpered softly, twisting a little.  
"Shh, no, just keep still, it's okay."  
"R-Randal…I wanna- I-I want C-Carli-Carlisle…"  
"I'm here, it's okay. Stay still, Garrett, you're going to have to the hospital, alright?" It was amazing how calm he was in a situation like this. It seemed like an eternity before the other paramedics arrived.

 **Carlisle POV**

He was so broken but the only thing I could do was hold his hand. They had to operate to fix his leg – he'd broken his femur and would have to be in a cast for six weeks, and he had to have too many stitches to count. I just had to wait and pray that he wake up again.

When he whimpered softly I knew he was coming around.  
"Garrett, can you hear me?"  
His fingers tightened around mine a little.  
"Garrett it's me."  
"C-Carlisle..?" He sleepily glanced up at me but a hint of pain flashed across his face.  
"Yeah, don't move, okay? You're in hospital." I leant forward so I could hug him as much as I could without hurting him further.  
He immediately wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me back as tightly as he was able in his drug induced state. "I-I'm s-sorry- R-Randall-"  
"Shh, I know, it's okay. I'm sorry too."  
"I don't- I don't want to go back to him…"  
"You don't have to. You can stay with me and Charlie, okay? You're safe now, it's okay," I assured him, trying to get him to relax.  
He was still trying to hug me, struggling to sit up.  
"Garrett, no. Come on," I chided, sliding up to sit on the bed next to him.  
"I'm sorry…" he was crying now, and I had no doubt that the movement was hurting him. "I want to go home…I want to go home with you…"  
"I know, it's okay, just calm down." Nothing I said seemed to make him feel any better and he just kept apologising.  
"Can you stay?" he pleaded, holding onto my shirt so I couldn't have gotten away anyway.  
"Of course I can. It's okay, Garrett." I lay down beside him so he didn't have to twist to hold onto me; at least that's what I told myself, anyway; really, I'd just really missed hugging him.  
He cuddled into me, resting his head against my collarbone and trying to squirm closer. Instead of achieving the movement, he let out a sharp yelp, immediately followed by a few tears.  
Wiping his face dry with my sleeve, I shifted closer to him, letting him be as close as he wanted. "You're okay," I repeated.  
"H-hurts…" he stammered.  
"I know it does."  
"T-thank you for coming…" He slid his hand around my waist under, up under my jacket although I don't think he realised it. The contact made me giddy and a little lightheaded as I hyperventilated. It comforted me as much as it did him.

 **Garrett POV**

Although even breathing was agony, having Carlisle next to me was wonderful. Even if he was asleep. Even if had been asleep for almost four hours. Even if I'd happily watched him sleep for four hours. Dear god, he was cute.  
"Carlisle, wake up." I nudged him awake, managing a smile when he glanced down at me.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked tiredly, carefully untangling himself from me to sit up a bit.  
"Okay…"  
"Liar," he announced playfully. Suddenly his smile faded. "I really missed you."  
I slid my hand across the bed, trying to find his fingers again. "I missed you too…Carlisle?"  
"Hmm?"  
"When do you think I'll be allowed to go home again..?"  
He bit his lip, apprehensive now. "Garrett, do you know what's wrong with you? I mean, your injuries?"  
"My leg's broken…" I cautiously ran my hand over the cast, desperately wishing I could stop it throbbing.  
"And you wrist," he murmured, gently lifting my arm off the bed and into his lap. It too was covered in plaster. "And your fingers…" He gestured to my other hand which I quickly realised was wrapped tightly.  
"Why- but how am I- I can't-" I panicked. _How the fuck was I supposed to do anything?! I couldn't even get fucking dressed like this!_  
"Shh, it's okay, don't worry. I'll look after you, alright? You wont be on your own," he assured me. God I loved him.  
Still my eyes were burning and I fought not to cry again.  
He just hugged me, rubbing my back.  
"I'm sorry," I choked out.  
"You're allowed to cry, Garrett. It's fine. We'll get you better."  
Trying to sit up, I felt the horrible pain in my stomach again. "Did he…are my ribs broken too..?"  
"No." He looked apologetic. "Lie back for a minute?"  
I did as he asked, unable to smother a whimper as the action forced me to move.  
He gently pushed up my shirt, exposing a thick wad of bandages around my middle. "He, ah, he cut you… deeply, actually…and on your face, but that's not quite as bad…It shouldn't scar…" He held his hand against my cheek.  
I leant into his touch, starting to realise I could only feel part of his fingers and the rest of it was muffled by padding. "I-I d-don't k-know w-why he- he hated m-me so m-much…" I swallowed hard to force back the need to sob.  
Carlisle readjusted my clothing and wrapped me in the blanket, hugging me through it. "It had nothing to do with you, Garrett. You're wonderful. He's just horrible. It's not your fault." He smiled playfully. "Besides, now you're _my_ prisoner."  
I just smiled back. "So I'm at your mercy now?"  
"You bet."  
"To be honest, I couldn't think of anything better."


	8. Chapter 8

**I've written the next two chapters but one of them is weird is fuck (THOSEstories I'm blaming this on you ;) ) and I don't know if I really want to terrorise you all with it.**

 **Garrett POV**

It was awkward to say the least. He had to help me do _everything._ I couldn't eat a lot of things, get dressed, shower, go to the bathroom, I couldn't _move_. Every little thing hurt so much and usually reduced me to tears.  
"Carlisle," I called out cautiously, biting my lip as I waited for him to appear.  
He came in a few seconds, smiling and sitting next to me on the bed. "You okay?" he asked, squeezing my hand.  
I nodded sheepishly. "I'm just really bored…"  
"It's a shame your fingers are broken," he teased. "Halo is no fun without you." He crawled up the bed and lay beside me, cuddling into me. I was just amazed he managed it without hurting me, instead it was incredibly comforting.  
"Shut up…Where's Charlie?" Glancing out the door didn't achieve much, but even so, I hadn't heard him for a few hours.  
"He's in his room, I think." He half hugged me, positioning his arm so it didn't touch any of the bandaging.  
I couldn't help it; the question had been bugging me for days and I had to ask. "What is he to you? I mean, are you two just friends, or…is he your boyfriend?" My voice became quieter toward the end and I felt my face grow hot; I shouldn't care so much.  
Carlisle blushed too, ducking his head. "We're just friends," he mumbled.  
Silence hung over us for a few minutes. That was, of course, until word vomit kicked in. "Carlisle, I missed you so much. I'm sorry I didn't believe you! I can't believe I even trusted that asshole! I'm so, so sorry. I love you so much; you're my best friend and I don't know why I was stupid enough to leave you for him…I'm sorry." I tried to cuddle closer to him, craving the comfort, but it was too much effort with the blankets holding me down, even more so because Carlisle was on top of them meaning I couldn't pull them. No matter how hard I wished, he never actually got _in_ bed with me; he was forever on top of the covers, always keeping a thick layer of blankets between us.  
"I don't blame you, Garrett. You loved him." His voice was soft and I struggled to hear him.  
"No I didn't." _I loved you._ _I love you._  
He sighed, sitting up again. "You hungry? We could get pizza."  
"I thought you knew me, Carlisle! Is that even a question? And you call yourself my friend!" I faked horror and he giggled.  
"Fine, okay. I'll take that as a yes, then." He slipped out of the room to go and see Charlie. I listened to him dial the number on the phone and place the order. A second later he came back, DVD in hand, and lay beside me again.  
"What are we watching?" I asked curiously. Part of me hoped that it was something ridiculously sapping or romantic or something, but I knew better.  
He rolled his eyes. "What is the only movie we own, Garrett?" he teased.  
"Starwars," I realised, bursting out laughing, only to realise how much the movement hurt.  
"You love it really." He lent his head on my shoulder, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket.  
"Ow- don't make me laugh! It really hurts," I whined, not able to stop now.  
He nodded and pressed play, unable to resist smiling once I calmed down again.  
About half an hour into the movie Charlie came in holding pizza, setting onto the bed. "Eat up, nurse," he teased Carlisle, poking his legs.  
"You don't want to play too, Charlie?" he laughed, catching his hand as he pulled it away. _Definitely more than friends_.  
"Depends. Do you still want to bend me over? You could check my prostate." He started to unbuckle his belt, grinning widely.  
Carlisle pretended to be horrified, putting his hand over my eyes. "Jesus, Charlie! Not in front of Garrett! That's unprofessional!"  
"Alrighty then," he chuckled as he headed back toward the hallway.  
"No- wait. You can still watch the movie with us," he told him, sitting up quickly.  
"Nope. There's no way I'm watching starwars. You're such a dork." He started to close the door, leaving the only light in the room coming from the TV. "Have fun on your date, kids."  
"You two seem close," I commented after a while, trying to ignore the jealousy I felt toward it.  
"We're just playing, Garrett," he assured me. "Charlie is just my friend. He's training to be a cop." Carlisle proceeded to fill me in on way more information than I wanted to know about the boy in the next room, and my heart sank when I realised how close they actually were. I still wasn't entirely convinced they weren't together, and I couldn't focus on the movie while I ate, only able to fixate on that thought.  
We sat there for a while, watching the snow pour down outside, bathed in the light of the screen. It _was_ sort of romantic, really. And I loved it. Waaay too much. Despite the pain with every breath, this was the best night I'd ever had. Lying next to the boy I loved while he drifted in and out of sleep, finally getting the opportunity to study him I wanted to study him.

In the morning it was Charlie opening the door which woke me up. He smirked at us, knocking loudly on the wood. "Carlisle, you want to come for a drive?"  
Jumping up, he agreed enthusiastically but his smile soon faded. "I can't leave Garrett."  
"Yes you can," I argued against my better judgement. "I'll be fine for a few hours."  
"But…" He sat on the edge of the bed again, shaking his head. "It's okay. I'll stay here."  
"You're going," I pushed him with my arm so he slipped, almost landing on the floor. "Go and have some fun."  
Nervously biting his lip, he pressed my phone into my hand. "If you need help you have to call me, okay? I'll come straight back and-"  
"Stop worrying. You're worse than my mother," I chuckled, only just stopping myself from leaning forward and kissing him like my instincts urged me to.  
"I just don't want anything to happen to you…"  
"Go, Carlisle."  
"I don't want to."  
"Charlie?" I asked.  
With a grin plastered on his face, he grabbed Carlisle, practically dragging him out of the room. Seconds later, the front door slammed.  
 _Jesus, what am I getting myself into?"_

 **Charlie POV**

"So," I started as we drove. "How long have you had a crush on Garrett?" It was a struggle to resist laughing at the look of absolute panic that flashed across his face.  
"He's just my friend," he mumbled, looking down at his lap.  
"Sure, he is. A friend that you desperately want to get in bed with?"  
"Charlie," he whined.  
"Come on, I won't tell anyone. You've liked him for a while, then?"  
"…About four years…" he admitted, still not looking at me as his cheeks became red.  
"Aww, Carlie has a crush on Gary," I teased, unable to keep from laughing.  
"Don't call him that. He hates it," he grumbled, making me laugh harder. "Shut the fuck up," he giggled when our eyes met. "That's not fair. Now we have to go stalk your girlfriend so we're even. Renee, right?"  
"No way. Nope. Never. And she's not my girlfriend. I just sit next to her and we go on dates that she doesn't know about." I shook my head at him.  
"Aren't you supposed to arrest people like that?"  
"Like what?"  
"You know, stalkers," he deadpanned, bursting into hysterics again.  
"I will push your ass out of this car right now, Carlisle Cullen, and you will have to walk home," I threatened, trying to fight back a smile.  
"Come on. You know you love me."  
"Don't push your luck, kid." We stayed quiet for another block or so, but the smile never left his face. "Does Garrett know?" I asked, too curious to stop myself.  
"Are you insane? Of course not. He doesn't even know I'm…like that." Just by the expression on his face I knew he disapproved of himself.  
"Maybe if you told him then-"  
"If he loved me back then he wouldn't have dated Randal and none of this would have happened," he interrupted, obviously not wanting to discuss the topic anymore.  
"I just think it's sweet."  
"What is?"  
"That you're so worried about leaving him by himself. You're really nervous about this, aren't you?" I couldn't bring myself to teased him anymore; I could almost taste the anxiety rolling off him.  
Carlisle nodded slowly, focused on the road. "I just don't want him to be hurt again…It was my fault in the first place; I should have checked up on him or called him or-"  
"Hey," I put my hand on his leg, making him jump. "It was most definitely not your fault."  
He quickly tried to wipe away a few tears that escaped. "I just wanted him to be happy but I screwed everything up and-"  
"Don't cry, alright? I'm a guy, I cant deal with that." I was only kidding, but he didn't catch on, holding his breath to stay quiet and looking out the window to turn away from me. "Carlisle." I pulled over, undoing my seatbelt and reaching over to hug him, pulling him back against me. "I was joking, come here."  
"I c-cant do anything right and I hurt Siobhan and n-now she hates me and now I'm crying and I'm s-so sorry, Charlie…" He tried to pull back, but I squeezed him a little tighter.  
"Shh, it's okay. You're allowed to be upset, Carlisle. It's fine. Look at me," I forced him to look up, and he shakily tried to mirror my smile. "I've never seen you do anything wrong, alright? You're amazing with Garrett, you're a great student and soon to be doctor, you're a wonderful friend, and I don't know who Siobhan is but she can fuck off if she doesn't like you."  
He shifted a little closer. "I love you, Charlie…Thank you."  
I chuckled, running my hand down his back. "We good now? I can keep driving?"  
He nodded and let go, sitting up again. "…Sorry…"

The minute we got home again he flew in the door and immediately pounced on Garrett.  
"Are you okay?" he asked, frantic as he lent over him, straightening the blankets and fussing over nothing.  
"I'm fine," he chuckled. "Kate was here a few minutes ago. Calm down."  
Carlisle froze. "Kate…"  
"Hmm. She told me what happened between you and Siobhan."  
He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, hiding his face in his hands. "I screwed up. She only wanted to help me but I…I don't know. I was stubborn so I pushed her away…"  
"Stubborn, huh?" The source of the voice was a tall woman, smirking as she lent on the door frame across from me. Siobhan, I guessed.  
"Yes, stubborn," Carlisle whispered, looking up at her with wide eyes. "And sorry."  
She glanced at the floor before smiling widely and holding out her arms. "I'm sorry too, come here."  
He hugged her immediately, sighing in relief.  
"You didn't really think I could stay mad at you, did you?" she teased.  
"…It _has_ been months since we saw each other."  
"I like it take my time. Don't rush me." She pushed him away again, into me this time. "You must be Charlie?" she asked, looking me up and down.  
"That would be me." I glanced at the other two. Carlisle just looked amused at our interaction, while Garrett had his eyes trained on the ceiling, his cheek bright red.  
"I always wondered who Carlisle's first boyfriend would be. A cop no less. Nice going." She nudged him but he shook his head.  
"We're just friends," he corrected.  
"Nonsense!" I teased, throwing my arm around his waist. "Don't do this to me, honey. You know we have to start telling people. I mean, you have me in the bedroom every night and-"  
"Charlie!" he laughed, shaking his head at her. "Don't worry. He's joking."  
"As long as you use a condom, Carlisle, I don't care what you do."  
At that he blushed and looked down, quite obviously avoiding glancing at Garrett.  
"I'm going. You boys have fun…together".


	9. Chapter 9

**Garrett POV**

I'd never been one to nap in the afternoon, and even now, doped up on pain killers I still couldn't sleep. My head hurt really badly, and my throat itched but I prayed I wouldn't cough, knowing it would be agony. The shivering was bad enough, and for some unknown reason I felt freezing.  
"Here, dude, I made dinner," Charlie told me, coming in with a tray of food and setting it on the bed next to me, thankfully not noticing my struggle.  
"You mean, the microwave made dinner and you brought it to me," I teased, taking a mouthful of it anyway, ignoring the way it scraped my throat. Internally I was just glad I didn't have to get Carlisle to feed me this; that on top of him having to see me naked at least twice a day would have been too much.  
"You just shush," he laughed, sticking out his tongue at me.  
"Thank you, Charlie. I appreciate it."  
"I wouldn't let you starve, Garrett. Don't worry," he chuckled. "Your nurse is in the shower. I'm sure he'll come see you soon," he told me as if he could read my mind.

"Charlie fed you," Carlisle sighed in relief, stopping in my doorway, stilling his panic.  
I swallowed thickly; his hair was still wet and he was still in the process of getting dressed, pulling on a jacket. The shirt underneath was quite tight fitting, as were his jeans, and I found myself imaging what it would be like to peel both items of clothing off, to be able to kiss-  
"Garrett, are you okay? Your face is really flushed…" He stepped closer and held the back of his fingers against my cheek. Which only made me blush more, didn't it. I wasn't about to tell him that my entire body was now at boiling point just because he'd had a damn shower. Still…his hand did feel nice there…and the coolness of his touch helped to calm my head ache.  
"I'm fine, Carlisle," I assured him, trying to keep my voice steady. I badly needed him out of the room to deal with a very awkward problem which the state he was in had caused me.  
He looked unconvinced, his fingers trailing down my arm as he walked past the bed. "…If you say so. I'm going to bed now, okay? You don't need anything?" _I just need you away from me. Immediately.  
_ "I'm alright. Good night."  
He smiled before turning to leave, closing the door but not letting it catch. So it wasn't properly closed if I needed him. Damn him. He was too sweet. _Not helping at all, Carlisle Cullen._

I woke up with a start, immediately choking and coughing. I felt the bone in my legs shift with the jarring movement, and the cut across my middle burnt. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't swallow and I couldn't breathe and I couldn't sit up and I felt terror rise in my throat.  
"Garrett, shh, it's okay. You're alright." Carlisle switched the lamp on low, already helping me get upright and handing me a glass of water.  
It was hard to get it down, but it did help. I leant into him, grateful, and waited for my breathing to return to normal. My nose was blocked and my head was swimming. I hadn't realised I was crying until he wiped my face with his sleeve, hugging me a little tighter.  
"It hurts, huh?"  
I nodded, trying to find a way that I could hug him, but the angle we were on prevented it. Everything ached so badly now and I knew it had nothing to do with my injuries. Even when I grabbed the blanket, trying to pull it up, I couldn't manage it and he had to help me.  
"Lie down, yes?" he instructed, sitting next to me.  
I nodded and gingerly did as he'd told me, sliding my fingers through his in a silent plea for him to stay a little longer. After fifteen minutes, my shaking hadn't slowed any and I knew he'd noticed it. "I-I don't feel well," I mumbled lamely, clenching my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering.  
"Are you still cold?" He looked so… _desperate_ to help me I could have cried.  
I nodded hesitantly, worried about whether I might upset him or not.  
He hesitated before standing up and my heart clenched at the thought of him leaving. But suddenly, I had him exactly where I'd been wishing he'd be ever since I came home; in bed with me. "Is this okay?" he asked shyly, very softly. In response I slid my arm around his waist, drawing him a little closer. He hugged me back immediately, his cheek against my collarbone and his body moulded to the shape of mine. "You're so warm…" he whispered to me, switching off the lamp. _That meant he was staying_. I grinned into the darkness. "You have a temperature."  
 _I have you._ "Hmm…it doesn't really matter. Hopefully it'll be better in the morning."  
He nodded and leant into me a little further, already starting to fall asleep.

By morning, neither of us had gotten any rest whatsoever. I'd coughed all night, effectively keeping both of us awake, and Carlisle refused to leave me alone, promising over and over again that he'd find a way to make it stop not matter how much I pleaded with him to go back to his room. Every attack that I had became more and more painful, and I was overly grateful to be cuddled into Carlisle. Just his presence was the best form of comfort I could think of.  
"You might have to go to a doctor if this doesn't stop, Garrett," he murmured, running his fingers through my hair as I lay with my head in his lap.  
"I don't want to move," I whined, hugging my waist in hopes of making it hurt less, inwardly focusing on every single point of contact I had with him. His warmth was seeping into my clothing and it was all I could do not to beg him to get back in bed with me.  
Gently trying to loosen the grip I had around myself, his hand accidently brushing the bare skin on my side where my shirt had ridden up, sending Goosebumps all over my body. "I know you don't, but if you keep coughing-"  
"Carlisle, I don't want to…" I grabbed his hand, clumsily trying to capture his fingers in an effort to have a little self-restraint; even through the pain having him here like this was driving me absolutely crazy, almost too much to bear. "Please can we not..? It hurts too much to go that far…"  
"Hopefully we won't have to." He ran his thumb over my fingertips, the only part of my hand that was exposed under the bandages. The simple touch was enough to send shivers down my spine. "You know I wouldn't put you in pain if it wasn't necessary."  
I sighed in defeat, looking up at him as the sun started to leak through the window, filtering through his hair. _Totally not fair._ "Why do I look like crap while you're perfect even though you been here all night too?" I huffed without thinking about what I had actually said. _Shit._  
Confusion flashed across his face and he looked away quickly, focusing on something out the window as heat crept into his cheeks. His hands froze and I felt his body tense under mine. "Do you want breakfast?" he asked in refusal to my complaint.  
"Sure," I agreed without hesitation, trying to clear the awkward comment.  
"It's a good thing Uncle Charlie is here to save the day then, isn't it?" Charlie announced, throwing open the door with a loud bang and a wide smile, barely two plates of toast. He took in Carlisle's expression and then looked at me. "What happened? What'd I miss? Is this about me interrupting cuddle time because I know damn well it's happening whether I see it or not." His teasing only made both of us blush harder, but Carlisle glanced over at him with a small smile.  
"If I'm the nurse, Charlie, then you are the maid," he teased as the other boy set our breakfast on the bed.  
"Fine. But I just made you breakfast, so now you owe me. Now, what do you say?"  
He rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Charlie. We love you."  
"That's better," he laughed. "I'm going out. You want to come see Em and Jasper with me?"  
His fingers immediately tightened around mine "No. Thank you."  
"Oh, I see how it is," Charlie faked hurt. "You traded me out for Garrett, huh? That was a low blow, Carlisle. A low blow."

An hour later we were still sitting on the bed, this time with Siobhan and Kate. Siobhan's smirk when she saw me lying on Carlisle brought the heat to my face, but I couldn't bring myself to move as he ran his hand up and down my side. I couldn't focus on them either, trying to ignore the pain in my ribs with every cough.  
"What on earth happened to you, Garrett?" she asked, the question I had been avoiding the day before.  
Swallowing hard to clear the lump in my throat and taking a deep breath did little to squish my need to cry. Even thinking about it brought back the fear of those few days.  
"It's okay, Garrett," Carlisle whispered, squeezing my shoulder. Silently, I pleaded for him to tell them; he knew everything and there was no way I could force the words out of my mouth. He hesitated before doing as I'd hoped. "Randal…Randal was a psychopathic fucking asshole." He clenched his teeth, trying to force back anger.  
"Did the cops…" Kate trailed off.  
He shook his head and I felt my eyes widen. "T-they didn't catch him?" I stammered.  
He repositioned me slightly, moving to hug me. "He fled the country, Garrett. They couldn't get him."  
I nodded shakily, not having much of an option to do anything else. "O-okay…"  
"Go fish," Siobhan announced, throwing a pack of cards onto the duvet.  
"Seriously? I give you a pack of cards and this is what you come up with?" Kate laughed, shaking her head. "Alright, you two, go fish it is."

By lunch time I was struggling to keep my eyes open, and Carlisle was half asleep as well.  
"Have you boys had breakfast?" Kate asked, sliding off the bed and onto her feet. "I can make you something, yes?"  
"You think that because we're men we can't cook?" I teased half-heartedly. "That's sexist."  
"And go fish is stupid," Carlisle added, his words kind of slurred together.  
"I'm going to take that as a no," she snickered, rolling her eyes.  
"We've eaten. Charlie fed us," he told her.  
"Charlie is…" she glanced out the door as if in search of him, a frown falling across her face. "The boy I met yesterday, yes?"  
"He's our maid. Or our chef. Whatever he decides. Except he really fucking sucks at vacuuming so he should just let me do it from now on," Carlisle answered. After a moment I realised he was speaking for Charlie's benefit as he failed to creep in the door unnoticed.  
"Love you too, baby," he called out, poking his head around the corner with a grin seconds later. "Aww, don't you two look cosy," he teased us. His eyes were alive with amusement.  
"You want to cuddle too, Charlie?" I teased back, trying to shift so I was closer to Carlisle.  
"I'll cuddle him later, Garrett, don't worry." He winked at me as Carlisle rolled his eyes.  
"You have to shower first. I can smell you from here." He couldn't help himself and laughed as Charlie sniffed his shirt, making a face a second after. "Rude, Cullen. Rude…Maybe you'll help me shower?"  
"Depends. Are you going to actually use soap because I'm ninety per cent certain the dishwashing liquid _doesn't count_. _"_  
"And now you sound like me mother. What about you ladies? Anyone for a shower with a cop? You know how cops work out all the time and have nice abs and-"  
"Yeah, about that. They're together," Carlisle interrupted, laughing again.  
"Don't you just like to spoil my fun," he grumbled, still chuckling to himself as he walked off.  
"I like Charlie," Siobhan stated after a moment of silence.  
"I like Charlie too," Carlisle agreed. "He's nice."  
 _And I like Carlisle_ , I thought to myself, restraining a sigh.


	10. Chapter 10

**I haven't spell checked very well and its midnight so I'm sorry in advance…**

 **Garrett POV**

"Go fish," Kate laughed, grinning at me as I begrudgingly pulled a card up off the pack, wincing as my ribs protested.  
"I like poker better," I grumbled, trying not to laugh. Our game had moved to the longue now and had worked to encompass Charlie, who had eagerly – a little too eagerly – agreed to play.  
"We should play snap," he chuckled, his positive attitude never dampened. "This is getting repetitive. I mean, not the game, just Garrett losing continually." He smirked at me and I grinned back, rather relieved to know I was part of whatever friendship he and Carlisle had.  
"When I can stand, I'm going to kick your ass," I threatened. It was just a shame I couldn't keep a straight face.  
"You're on, pretty boy."  
"Save your love for when we're gone," Siobhan teased. "How about we get takeaways and watch a movie or something? I'm not the most mature person-"  
"You've got that right," Carlisle interrupted. In response he got a pillow launched at him.  
"-But go fish is incredibly boring," she finished, giggling as he returned fire. "Don't start something you cant finish, dork.  
"Why are you always trying to feed us?" I chuckled. "Every time you come in here you're trying to feed us."  
"Aww, but look at you! You're so little and need to eat your greens and grow up big and strong," she announced in a singsong voice, trapping Carlisle in a sort of headlock and messing up his already messy hair, effectively making him laugh. _My god that laugh_. She released him after a minute, kissing his forehead. "Give me your phone. They can bloody well deliver it; I'm not moving."  
He squirmed but didn't say anything as she reached into his pocket, retrieving it.

Although I was supposed to be focused on the TV, I was acutely aware of every little move Carlisle made. If I even so much as cleared my throat, he would glance up to see if I was alright. But as the night wore on, I realised it was him coughing all the time and not me. He seemed too pale now, and his hair was starting to stick to him and it was immediately obvious he was sick.  
"Carlisle." I nudged him, getting him to focus on me again.  
"Are you okay?" he asked straight away, worry flashing across his face.  
"Yes, but you're not. I made you sick, didn't I?"  
"I probably would have caught whatever it is anyway," he mumbled, leaning against me unintentionally. His temperature radiated through my sleeve and I badly wished I could hug him properly.  
"You go to bed," I urged. "You must be tired, surely."  
"Hmm." He pulled himself closer to me, his head resting on my shoulder. "How do you feel?"  
"Better. Go to bed."  
"Maybe its only a twenty four hour thing…"  
"Carlisle, go to bed, dude," I chuckled, rubbing his leg.  
"You were up as long as I was last night," he argued, his voice becoming more muffled by my clothing.  
"Yes, but I wasn't the one running around after me. Go to bed."  
Looking down, he bit his lip. "I'm okay here…I want to stay with you…" he murmured shyly, seeming to crave the comfort.  
A surge of joy rushed through me and I couldn't hide a smile. "That's sweet, but I'm going to be here in the morning."  
"Okay," he agreed reluctantly, slowly getting to his feet, swaying unsteadily. "But how are you going to get…"  
"Carlisle, you seem to ignore the fact that there are three other people here," I teased, making Charlie chuckle under his breath.  
"I'll keep an eye on him," he assured him. "Now go to bed. You look like shit."  
He nodded and stumbled down the hallway.

"Garrett, wake up, buddy." Charlie shook me awake, offering a very forced smile when I glanced up at him, squinting into the light that leeched out of the hallway.  
I glanced at the clock. 4am. I'd only been in bed three hours. "W-what's happening?" The look on his face told me that this was no friendly visit.  
"I have to take Carlisle to A&E. I'm not sure how long it's going to take, but if its more than a few hours I'll call one of my friends to babysit you, okay? I'll call you." He pushed my phone into my hand as I stared up at him, dazed.  
I tried to sit up, panicked. "Is he okay?! What happened? I have to-"  
He pushed me back. "I have to go. Stay here and be good." He hurried out of the room, back to Carlisle. About a minute later the front door slammed.

 _He has to be okay. He has to be okay. He has to be okay._ I hadn't slept and now the sun was coming up and they still weren't back. _They still weren't back._ Where was my Carlisle?  
I almost cried in relief when I heard the door open and Charlie warning him to be careful. "Charlie, is he ok-"  
"I'm fine, Garrett. It was just an overreaction," Carlisle told me, smiling tiredly as he leant against my door. He looked completely exhausted and completely fucking adorable; his hair all messed up and half asleep.  
"What happened?" I examined him carefully, trying to see any sort of injury or illness. He still didn't look well, but no worse than before.  
He sighed and came to sit next to me, stifling a yawn. "Nothing, really. Just the coughing…it wasn't so great for my lungs, that's all. But the doctor gave me this, so I'm okay now." He held his hand up, showing me the edge of an inhaler.  
"Asthmatic?" I guessed. "You didn't tell me that."  
"I never had too…I didn't want to worry you." Dropping his eyes to the floor, he swallowed thickly.  
"Now I'm worried," I grumbled, eyeing him carefully.  
"I'm fine," he repeated. "Do you want breakfast?"  
"Go to sleep! You've been up alright!" I scolded, desperately trying to sit up.  
He just laughed. "I'm eating whether you are or not. Are you hungry?"  
I sighed, not saying anything.  
"You're eating then," he announced, going into the kitchen.

He tried to pretend that everything was normal but he was starting to become stupid with sleep deprivation. His movements were fumbled and he could barely get his food in his mouth as we sat together eating.  
"Do you need me to feed you, Carlisle?" I teased, smirking as I watched him try to process my comment.  
"Wouldn't that be a change," he managed eventually, grinning when I blushed and looked down.  
"Shut up. Jerk."  
"Jerk, huh? Maybe I should have let you starve instead. No porridge or mash potato or anything else remotely sloppy for baby Garrett."  
"Hey. I didn't exactly enjoy being fed," I grumbled. To be honest, I would let him put anything in my mouth. _Anything._  
"It's almost over now, anyway. You'll be able to sit up properly in a few days." He flopped down beside me suddenly, almost making my spill my breakfast, and cuddled into my side.  
I frowned. "You're warm."  
"I know. You got me sick," he accused half-heartedly. "And now you have to cuddle it better…"  
I decided I really like stupidly sleep deprived Carlisle.

 **Carlisle POV**

"You'll be able to sit up properly in a few days." As I spoke, the room started to spin and I knew I should have been more careful; I vaguely aware that I was hyperventilating and needed to get it under control before he thought I was going to suffocate. In the end, I just lay down next to him, trying to kill the stomach churning feeling.  
"You're warm," he murmured, his fingers touching my cheek.  
I forced back a smile at the sensation the coolness of his hand created. "I know. You got me sick," I told him in hopes of not seeming _overly_ affectionate. In reality I could have stayed like this forever; it was absolutely wonderful being this close to him and I couldn't stop myself from wanting to be closer. He was so pretty in this light too; the sun filtered through his hair, making it shine red and his eyelashes seemed three times longer than usual…holy shit. I was a moron. At what point in my life did I start looking at people's motherfucking eyelashes. _What the fuck, Carlisle?!_ "And now you have to cuddle it better." Nope, worse than a moron. A cock sucking, motherfucking idiot. Goddammit.  
But he didn't reply, throwing his arm around me and pulling me a little closer – which I happily assisted him with – and lying back against the pillows, closing his eyes. Great. Well, now I'm defiantly going to stare at him, aren't I. There is no way in hell I'm passing up an opportunity like that. Fuck, he was beautiful.  
"You just about gave me a heart attack last night," he grumbled.  
I felt my face grow hot, embarrassed at having made a scene. "I just got a little…breathless. I probably would have been fine if Charlie had stayed in bed." That wasn't the case at all; if Charlie had stayed in bed I would have been dead. Coughing like that defiantly wasn't a good thing…I would have to find a way to thank him later.  
"Still." He squeezed me a little and I struggled not to sigh. _It felt so fucking good._ "Go to sleep, okay? You're obviously tired, and you look like shit."  
 _I know, trust me_. Stupid gorgeous son of a bitch. "I'm not that t-" And then he started running his fingers through my hair and that was it, I was seconds away from passing out. I thanked the seven gods that I had washed it recently.  
"Just go to sleep already. Don't be a dork."  
I couldn't even open my mouth to offer a retort regarding the lame insult.  
"Sleep, okay? You haven't slept too nights in a row, and you're sick _and_ you just spent god knows how many hours sitting in the emergency room; I know how shitty you feel. Sleep, alright?" Garrett insisted. By god, if he kept touching me like that, I didn't have a choice in the matter.

"Carlisle…" His voice sounded like it was coming down a tunnel and the light burnt when I forced my eyes open.  
"Yeah..?" My throat felt raw and I wasn't even sure I'd spoken loud enough for him to hear me. When I glanced up at him he offered a smile.  
"You're going to hurt your neck lying like that. Why don't you go to bed?" he suggested, shifting his arm.  
A sore neck was worth it if it meant I got to stay there, but I realised he probably just wanted personal space so I forced myself to nod. "The doctor gave me sleeping pills…I'll take one and…" I trailed off, sinking my teeth into my lip as I sat up and every muscle in my body screamed in protest.  
"That's a good idea."  
I turned to face him once I was on my feet. "D-do you want to get changed or-"  
"You seem to enjoy sleeping in jeans, so I'll give it a try," he smiled, taking pity on me.  
I almost smiled back, stumbling down the hallway.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, so a little WARNING about this chapter; it's weird as fuck (I blame THOSEstories). Roughly half of it (probably more) is awkward/uncomfortable as fuck.** _ **I'll divide this chapter so if you don't want to read that part you don't have to.**_

 **Basically the first half of this chapter is omorashi based (I wouldn't go there but for some reason my brain would stop with this idea so poor Garrett).  
This is pretty much all that you need to know if you don't fancy reading my weird fetish based (no smut) shit:  
\- Garrett wets the bed  
\- Carlisle has to help him clean up  
\- they're both embarrassed as fuck and its really awkward because I'm cruel and disgusting  
\- Carlisle accidently calls him honey in his sleep deprived state and Garrett's really confused  
\- and then I put a really obvious break (00000000000)**

 **Garrett POV**

I glanced at the clock; 2am. I couldn't wake Carlisle up yet; not when he was as sleep deprived as he was last night. Another throb from my bladder rendered my hand between my legs and I badly wished I could cross them or curl up or _something_. Squirming for what seemed like an eternity, growing more and more desperate each second, I looked at the clock again. It must be nearly three, surely. I'd waited so long. 2:05. _Shit_. I couldn't hold it, I really couldn't. But Carlisle needed to sleep more than I needed to pee. So I would just have to wait. My heart sank as I searched frantically for a bottle in reach and couldn't find one. _I have to go so bad…_ I wasn't going to pee my pants. I could wait. But holding myself wasn't helping anymore and it was taking every ounce of concentration and every muscle I had to keep the balloon of fluid inside of me. But I could hold it. I had to.  
No. No I couldn't. Ten past two. I had to go now. Right now. "Charlie," I called, trying to sound calm and not like I was about to piss myself. _Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up._ "Charlie?" _For the love of god hurry up._  
My bladder spasmed again as every drop of fluid in my body rushed to it, stretching it beyond capacity, and I gave in immediately, practically screaming Carlisle's name. He didn't respond either, and I couldn't help the desperate whine that slipped between my lips as I realised he'd taken a sleeping pill the night before, meaning he'd be comatose until about eight this morning.  
I wriggled and squirmed and shifted to no avail. I _had_ to go. Grabbing myself so hard it hurt and squeezing my legs together, crossing them as much as I could with the stupid cast, I held my breath, starting to sweat. "Carlisle, I really, really need you," I pleaded. Still he didn't respond. 2:15. I could wait.  
But the waist of my jeans cut into my bladder so deeply, and each throb was agony. I was so full it hurt to hold it and I felt my face grow red as my underwear became a little damp. "P-please, Charlie, I really have to-" I cut myself off when I realised it was too late, not daring to move as the fabric of my pants stuck to my legs as I soaked my sheets. The uncomfortable heat of it quickly became freezing. _Holy shit I was in trouble._  
I couldn't help it; there was no way I could stop the sobs and I pressed one hand over my mouth to try and smother the sound, the other against my stomach as it ached from being stretched. I was twenty four and had just wet the bed. To make it worse, there was nothing I could do about it except wait for my crush to help clean up.  
"Garrett, dude, you okay? You said my name and…" Carlisle mumbled something else but I couldn't hear him as he stumbled in the door, not looking up from the floor. At any other time, I would have probably shit myself seeing him like this; messy hair, half asleep, crumpled clothing that would be so easy to pull off…But right now all I could taste was humiliation. "Holy shit, are you okay? What's wrong?" He was instantly in front of me, tripping over his feet in the process. "Garrett, what happened?" He gently wiped my face dry, but my tears were quickly replaced.  
 _How the fuck was I supposed to tell him I pissed myself?_ "Carlisle…" I whispered, studying to wall as an excuse not to look at him.  
"Are you in pain?" the words seemed to tumble out of him and I knew he was running a mental list of things that could be wrong.  
I shook my head, biting my lip.  
"Garrett, please tell me," he pleaded, capturing my face in his hands so I couldn't avoid him any longer. His lips were so close to mine all it would take was a little push…  
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get rid of both my thoughts and the problem.  
"What am I missing?" Just by his voice I could tell he was getting upset, even in his groggy state.  
"I-I-I had to…I tried to…I wanted to call you b-but…" _But now I'm lying in a puddle of my own piss because I'm pathetic._  
"But I had a sleeping pill which means that I didn't wake up quickly," he mumbled, more to himself than me, and I could see him mentally trying to piece everything together. Even though I knew he would figure it out, I couldn't bring myself to say the words. Everything was silent for a minute before I couldn't hold back another sob.  
"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry- I tried to wait b-but I-I couldn't h-hold it a-and-" I could feel my face was bright red and my throat was tight and I couldn't look at him. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to meet his eye again.  
"You mean you…"  
I winced and glanced up at his face, nodding timidly. "I-I h-had t-to g-go s-so badly and I-I'm so s-sorry…"  
"Garrett- no, shh, honey, it's okay." He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly.  
 _Did he just call me honey?_ My crying stopped immediately as I looked up at him, but he was too dazed to recognise his slip.  
"It's alright, I'll help you get cleaned up, okay? I'm sorry I didn't wake up…" he ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it off his face and smiling sleepily at me.  
I nodded, becoming even redder, and let him take the blankets off me. On seeing the wet fabric, the lump in my throat returned as the embarrassment hit me again.  
"Don't worry about it, alright? It's my fault." He pulled me to my feet, supporting most of my weight still as I struggled to get my balance back. I couldn't stop squirming as it ran down my legs once I was up. _This was going to be a long night._

The worst part was trying to get my jeans down. Seeming as they were tight anyway, once they were wet they almost refused to budge and yet again I was forced to get good little Carlisle Cullen to help me, except this time it was a hundred times worse. Not only was he helping me get dressed, but he was literally peeling urine soaked clothing off me because I wet my pants like I was five all over again.  
"If it makes you feel any better, Garrett, I'm probably not going to remember this tomorrow; I'm too stoned right now for that," he told me, but all it did was produce more tears.  
"I-I'm s-so sorry…"  
"it's okay, don't worry about it. Do you think you can shower by yourself? I need to clean up before Charlie wakes up."  
I nodded even though I highly doubted I could. I couldn't really stand and I definitely couldn't hold onto anything.  
"Call me if you get stuck, okay?"  
"Yes…" I hung my head in shame. I didn't even want to picture what I looked like right now; twenty four, half naked, soaked in piss, crying and fucked up.  
And yet Carlisle didn't seem to think anything of it. _Damn him_.

 **000000000000000000000000000000000000000Sorry guys the weirdness if over0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Getting dressed was a struggle that left me exhausted, but somehow I managed it. "Carlisle…" I called cautiously, feeling my cheeks heat up as I waited for him to come in.  
"You did it," he smiled, for some god forsaken reason proud of me. He ignored the water on the floor and the clothes I was wearing before. "You want to go back to bed?"  
Swallowing the moan that the feeling of his fingers trailing down my back created, I nodded, using him as support well I stood.  
"You did well," he encouraged, sitting next to me once I was lying down again.  
It was hard to ignore that I was lying on an entirely different set of blankets and the others were nowhere to be seen. "What the fuck do you mean I did well? I wet my fucking pants!" I snapped at him, glaring at the ceiling.  
"Garrett…" his fingers wrapped around mine but I snatched my hand back.  
"Don't."  
"Garrett-"  
"Go." I pulled the blankets over my head, my eyes burning, tears welling.  
"Stop this," he scolded, uncovering me again. "It's not your fault that I didn't wake up, and it's not your fault you had an accident because of it. I know you're embarrassed, but I'm not going to tell anyone, okay? Charlie doesn't know, and he's not going to. It's our secret, alright?" When our eyes met I knew my face turned red but I nodded anyway.  
"T-thank you…"  
He took my hand and carefully started unwrapping the bandaging. Only then did I realised it was entirely soaked.  
"Shit. I didn't think- Ow…" I winced as my fingers lost their support suddenly. "Ow- Carlisle it hurts- why-"  
"I'm sorry, it'll be done soon." He gently laid my hand across his thigh and a moan slid between my lips. Starting with my wrist, he re-bandaged my fingers, fixing the splint in place again. He checked that the brace on my other arm hadn't slipped any, and then looked apologetic.  
"What?" I asked cautiously, my eyes widening as I realised what he was going to ask.  
Carlisle blushed and looked down, fidgeting nervously. "…I need to check your leg," he mumbled, a nervous smile on his face.  
"Which means I have to…" I felt my cheeks become warm too as I realised there was no way out of it. "Okay…" It was going to take all of my will power not to make this a whole lot more awkward. I tried not to focus on it as I unbuttoned my pants, or when I could only pull them down so far and he moved them the rest of the way, or when his fingers brushed again the sensitive skin on my inner thigh. _Cats, cats, cats, cats, anything but Carlisle's hands being this close to my dick_. Thankfully, it didn't last long and after about thirty seconds he helped me get dressed again. I immediately took off my shirt, assuming he would want to check the cut as well.  
Instead he just smirked. "So all I had to do to get you to take your shirt off was pull down your pants, huh?"  
"I guess so," I grinned back, watching in satisfaction as his blush became more prominent.  
"I need you to sit up…" He carefully helped me upright, letting me lean on him while he unclipped the bandaging.  
Stupidly, the only thing I could think about was how good he smelt. How did people smell so good? It wasn't even soap or laundry detergent or anything; he smelt like warmth and sunshine. Like comfort. But then he made me lie down again and it was gone.  
While he examined the cut, I tried to prop myself up so I could see the wound as well. _Bad idea._ My vision blurred and bile burnt in the back of my throat at the sight of it.  
"You doing okay? You're really pale…" His eyes met mine, concern reflected in them.  
I just nodded, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to think about the positives of this situation; the temperature of his hands against the hot skin around the cut felt incredibly good, and aside from that, Carlisle was touching me. That in its self was enough to make me giddy. Even the pressure of him re-wrapping it felt amazing, and as he slid his hand down my back toward the waist line of my pants, trying to smooth the bandage, I had to suppress a moan; _dear lord it felt good_.  
He helped me put my shirt back on and wrapped me in the blankets again, brushing my hair off my face. "I need to finish cleaning up. Will you be okay for a little while?"  
I nodded guiltily. "Thank you so much, Carlisle…"  
He just smiled, disappearing inside the bathroom.  
2:45am. Damn.

By three thirty the bathroom was cleaned up and I could hear the whir of the washing machine in the background. Carlisle came back with a shy smile. Even across the room it was obvious he was exhausted. "Garrett…can you do me a favour..?"  
"Sure," I agreed sleepily.  
He bit his lip, studying his feet. "Can I…can I sleep with you tonight..?" he asked in a whisper.  
I frowned, confused, and his face flushed brightly, his eyes wet with tears.  
"…please…" His plead was barely more than a whisper.  
I held out my hand and he hesitantly came over to me, closing his fingers in mine.  
"…Please Garrett…" His voice shook and I realised I never seen him cry.  
"Of course, Carlisle, come here." I shifted the blankets back and slipped my arm around his waist, tugging him toward me. Very, very nervously, he slid into the sheets beside me, like we had been the other night, and buried his face in my shoulder.  
"Thank you…"  
"Can I ask what's wrong?" I ran my hand down his back, wishing that I could actually feel his shirt through the bandage. I squeezed him against me as his body trembled, almost kissing his cheek…he might not remember if I did… _Garrett that's wrong._  
"I-I-I have really bad nightmares when I take sleeping pills and its okay as long as I don't wake up but I woke up and now I'm…scared…" he mumbled, his voice muffled by my clothing.  
 _Holy shit he's adorable._  
"It's okay now, I've got you…but I cant guarantee that we're both going to be dry when we wake up." My lame attempt at joke worked; he giggled, snuggling into me further, has arms around my waist. Very, very _low_ around my waist, his hand brushing against bare skin.  
"Don't care…"  
"Just need hugs, huh?" I teased, taking the opportunity to shift his clothing so it wasn't tangled in the blanket. I froze when I realised I'd accidently pushed my hand under his shirt. _Why the fuck was it bandaged?!_  
He tensed too, but quickly relaxed again, sighing contentedly. "Thank you…"


End file.
